Posted by Alyxis on 24/6/2009, 2:00 am, in reply to "Re: Counting"
174.42.251.11
Hello Russky
I don't smoke multiples out of desire to do so. I smoke multiples out of need and/or habit.
When I first begin smoking multiples, it is always out of pure need. The smoke doesn't feel strong enough in my chest, there's not enough nicotine in my body, etc. from smoking a single cigarette anymore. I need to bring more, or stronger, smoke into myself, immediately.
Different things trigger that need. When I first wake up, or wake up to smoke, there's no question it's a lack of nicotine. Same when I have to go an hour without at work. Before bed, it's my anticipation of going a few hours without smoking while sleeping. Also, I find that when I'm really focused on writing web page code or the like, I need to smoke multiples; most likely stress. Finally, I find that when I'm posting to this board, there are 2 cigarettes in my lips; probably because I'm focused on, and discussing my habit.
Once I start on doubles, I find it nearly impossible to just do it once. I will simply chain smoke doubles, till I un-focus from whatever first caused me to start smoking them in the first place. It's pure habit at that point; having 2 'helped' me (in some way) with whatever I was dealing with, so I need to continue like that.
I am pretty helpless to my addiction, I do what it requires of me. It took some time to come to terms with that. Once I'd accepted it though, I found it quite enjoyable, and very rewarding
As for your other post, I think I answered it here:
http://members5.boardhost.com/smokingdamage/msg/1244276374.html
--Alyxis
Message Thread:
![]()
« Back to thread