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Posted by Jack on 12/17/2005, 1:58 am, in reply to "Should I?"
If you want her, you have to tell her. When I was single I used to use a four step program for approaching women:
1. Prepare
2. Invite
3. Follow up
4. Resolve concerns
The biggest difference between best friends and boyfriends is the invite stage. Best friends never make the move. In your case, because you already have a relationship, it might be necessary to resolve concerns about moving to the next level first. My advice is to test the waters with something like, "Have you ever thought of us as a couple? (listen to her feedback and gage your follow up responses accordingly-if she shows signs of nervousness lighten the air and tell her its just hypothetical) Say "I think we'd be a great couple: (explain why)" again listen to response (especially nonverbal ques) Say something like "I've been thinking about us a lot lately, not to creep you out or anything." (If she isn't freaking go for and invite: something like "and I was wondering if you'd like give it a try or something?" (normally you'd want to be as concrete as possible, but you have a friendship to salvage if the answer is no). This is where resolving concrens comes into its own. If you to truly are great friends, you should have no trouble here. Just listen to what she has to say and reply accordingly. If the friendship is more improtant to you than the dating relationship, let her know how hesitant you were to approach her. If you want to marry her or else die a lonely man, be more daring and tell her how happy you are just to be around her. (I sometimes found it helpful to list physiological symptoms of my love when I'm around her-pity points I told you-DARING!)
ABOVE ALL ELSE: Remember that when approaching ANY woman to solicite a date, "Invitation Without Preparation is Suicide."
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