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Posted by Eric There is a very good chance that he may have become good friends with you in the first place in the hopes of eventually winning you as his girlfriend once you recognized how "nice" he was. If he was being nice to you to win your affection then he was being nice for purely selfish reasons. He may have actually wanted you to be unhappy or miserable so that he could come in and be the "hero" by saving you from the jerk or whatever else might have been making you unhappy. Many "nice" guys don't even realize that they are being nice just as a way to get people to like them. Genuinely nice people do things and care about people without expecting to get something back. The fake nice people want you to SEE them as nice and then like them and care about them because of how you see them. So when they help you they will get very unhappy if you don't show the proper appreciation for all the "sacrifices" that they have made for you. This guy obviously dosn't have a problem with you being miserable now or he would just accept your apology so that you could both move on. So as far as your concerned anyway, he's not really that nice afterall. He may be kinda getting off on the fact that he can now get revenge on you because you "screwed him over." He probably thinks... "I was so nice to her... and then look what she did to me." You breaking up with him and not really explaining to him why... was not cool. But if he really is the type of guy that is nice mainly as a strategy to win the affection of other people, then he is actually more selfish than nice. So you and him are at least "even." So feeling guilty about it dosn't really make any sense. Hopefully, you've learned from this experience and will try not repeat the same mistakes in the future. Chances are he hasn't learned a damn thing because he's to busy playing the victim for whatever sympathy it can win him. I wouldn't really expect anything different from him though. I was well into my 30's before I realized my own nice guy routine was complete BS. p.s. You know how guys are always b!tching about how women go for the jerks over the "nice" guys. Well a women is probably much better off by dating a jerk who knows he's a jerk. Instead of a dating a "nice" guy who THINKS he's a nice guy, but is really just a different kind of jerk.
on 4/15/2006, 8:58 pm, in reply to "Trying to find closure...advice would be appreciated"
Cary:
Nice guys tend to be a lot more needy anyway, and neediness just isn't very attractive.
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