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Posted by Jack on 4/26/2006, 3:47 pm, in reply to "Re: Beware of the nice guy friend types" While I agree that dumping someone without an explaination or feedback is bad, you never explicitly said you did that. However, you can look no further than this forum to see tons of people who lost a friend by dating them (present company included). I am certainly guilty of being nice for selfish reasons (like the fact that I'm 5'3 and don't want my @ss kicked), but regardless of his motives, it is just really hard to change gears from girlfriend to friend, who happens to be a girl. I learned by experience a few tricks, but they require two people who want the friendship, as well as patience, distance, and a positive social network outside of the relationship. In your case, I'm sorry you lost a friend, but you gained a relationship for that year-and-a-month. And you didn't get your heart ripped from your chest or an STD. In my book that's a winning trade. Friendships change naturally, so do relationships, but you had an opportunity to have both without getting hurt. Congratulations! As for your ex, perhaps his lies are a (admittedly unhealthy) way for him to cope with losing you. If he makes you seem bad in his mind, then he isn't bad for getting dumped. Sour grapes and all that sort of thing. PS: It sounds like you are (perhaps just a little) jealous that he is talking to younger girls on MySpace. Do you think that perhaps you may NOT be as over him as you thought? If you two aren't dating then doesn't he have the right to date and/or talk with whomever he chooses?
Cary,
If you never told him why you broke up with him, then perhaps while you've learned something from the relationship, he has not. Tell him why you dumped him (unless it was because he was ugly or a jerk, in that case maybe you could make it sound better, and not drain his ego as much) that way he can make sense of his loss and develop better coping methods. What have you got to lose?
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