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Posted by Adrian on 6/20/2006, 12:45 am
I previously entered my story about a 16 month relationship coming to a close with my gf. It's been about half a month since the whole fiasco, about a month since ive really had a good conversation with her, roughly a month after the final breakup, and half a month since seeing her in person. Now that ive given the statistics, heres the deal... She broke my heart when she broke up with me, and i went to anyone i knew for help, siblings, parents, friends... So once i started feeling better, i gave her space. I crowded her a little too much while the breakup was in process, so it was right to do so. After not seeing her for a while, i felt better about the situation. I talked to her briefly online AIM only about 15 min before she had to go. This occured about every three days. So after some time went by, about two weeks, i called her to see if she wanted to hang out and go on a bike ride. Busy. Then called her again the day after a little later and she was busy again. So anyways, the point is, i havent seen her for a while and been trying to get together. Well, today i rode my bike to our local downtown area with the park and everything. I called her friend to see if she wanted to hang out, and it was around 8:30. Just then, i saw her and her friend ride by on bikes. Well, i yelled to them and waved, then proceeded to join them. We hung out for a while, and things went alright. We went to another park and swung on swings. Anyways, after that went on for a while, her friend had to go home leaving us alone. We talked and stuff, and it was okay. The only problem was i found out stuff i wish i hadnt known. Well, it was only about half a month that we didnt see each other, summers only been like three weeks. But shes a different person now.. I found out she hooked up with someone, and has been spending lots of time with guys, basically surrounding herself. Shes taken on a new attitude. Everyone knows shes gorgeous and hot, and shes learned to assert herself. She went to a party which she constantly told me she would never go to. Shes got this new edge, its like: i can do whatever i want, with whoever i want, you cant stop me, and i dont care about your feelings. Well, she told me we were gonna stay friends. How can i be friends with her like this. I really miss her. Despite my lack of details, believe me when i say, shes changed. The old girl i used to know has been taken over by this new semi-slutty, popular, b###hy one. U know the type: basically shes a popular one. Anyways, its tough for me finding out about all her new experiences, the new guys, wishing i could know who she hooked up with, what she did, and for goodness sake, im jealous as hell. I thought i was over her and stuff, but this brought it back, wanting to know who shes with, what shes doing, if shes telling me the truth. I bet shell regret this all one day. So my problem is, i havent let go, shes different, i want to still be friends, heck i want to get back together, i want her still to be mine as a gf (of course id give her more space and freedom). But i need help. Its all torture to me, especially when i still love her, and these months are supposed to be the ones that are happiest and most fun. I guess im really sad to see her different, and this new attitude. It all sucks. I know i probably need to leave her alone, give her space, but i am and when i want her at the same time, it doesnt work. She has a much easier time hooking up and putting herself out there because she is attractive and horny, and there are plenty of guys who can fulfill her wants just as a hookup thing. What do i do? I was fine, now im a wreck again. Because im jealous of it all, i acted like a jerk a little bit, but i dont know if she deserves better treatment right now the way she shut me out of her life after i was the one person who cared more about her than anyone else. I loved her so much, and was so nice, and supportive. It was great while it lasted, and now it feels like it never was...
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