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Posted by Jack on 7/5/2006, 4:48 pm, in reply to "Jack's Life" She had a boyfriend at the time, and I hadn't ever really dated (I was very shy). So I waited for her to break up with him so that I could date her. When it finally happened during my sophemore year in high school, the timing wasn't right, and she started dating another guy. I continued to be her friend, while causally dating a couple other girls, all of whom were just my friends (no serious relationships) I did this in part to get over my nervousness around girls, and in part because my friend was building up a massive wealth of relationship expereince and I was still stuck in 7th grade romantically. When I graduated high school, I moved away for two years, never having dated my friend, and never having had a serious relationship. While I was gone, I thought about my friend occasionally. I obsessed about her the rest of the time. I didn't date because I was too busy with my job, but I made it a point to flirt with as many girls as possible. This is how I began to learn about sex. I knew about sex already, but I found that when I was talking with girls and they found out I was a virgin-because I had been waiting for my true love, that they wanted to tell me everything they knew about sex and sort of train me to be the perfect lover for them or something...like I was a piece of clay to be molded into whatever they wanted. For my part, I never even kissed any of these girls, we just talked. I found out later how much some of them had liked me, and how they thought I was a jerk when they found out that my flirting was just a game to me. One of them went so far as to call me a whore, which stuck with me both because I never once touched her in any kind of sexual way, but also because what I was doing WAS whorish, just with words instead of sex... Anyway that's a whole 'nother story. When I returned home, I decided to use my knew-found knowledge and flirting skills on my true love, which was poor timing because she was coming off a three year relationship with the guy who made her a woman. She was feeling very jaded and was very guarded, and my style of flirting was not helping her. After a couple weeks, she started hanging out with some other guy, and we had never said the relationship was serious, so it was cool. I was just starting college and wanted to date other people myself until she was ready. Meanwhile, my feelings were really screwed up. I started doubting myself and became dramatically insecure in the relationship. I had tried too hard and she pulled back, and that made me feel like I was losing or something, when in fact, it was a natural thing for her to do when I came on that strong after only a couple weeks of dating. We dated for a year on and off, most of the time I was dating other girls, and she dated a couple other guys during that time. To my knowledge she never slept with any of the guys she saw, and I didn't sleep with any of the girls I dated (mostly just first dates anyway). I was becoming sure that she was the only one for me, and she began thinking that we just weren't right for each other anymore. Finally, after 11 months on-and-off, after 7 years of waiting just to kiss her, after I sacrificed and sabotaged a relationship with probably the best girl (another story) I ever went out with to keep dating her, she let me go. I was furious. I burned my bridges right then and there. I later apologised and tried to make things right, but no matter how I tried I couldn't stand to just be her friend. My feelings for her were to strong. I severed all ties with her for two years, during which time I met my wife. She helped me to forget the pain, but when I accidentally ran into my first love a month before my wedding, all the feelings came back, and I realized that I will never be over her. Its been nearly five years since we broke up, and its only been in the last few months that I've been able to talk to her online. I still care for her and resent her at the same time, but the pain is mostly gone. I guess the moral of this story is that sometimes destiny has different plans than one's own. I learned how hard it is to get over your true love, and that distance is a decent cure.
I had a serious crush on one girl all my life. I met her when I was 6 years old and knew she was the girl for me (that sounds funny, but its how I felt). Anyway, my family moved out of the small town I was born in, and I didn't see this girl again until junior high, when we all went to the same school. I didn't recognize her at first but she remembered me. We became good friends and had a lot of things in common. We thought a lot alike, we had the same dry sense of humor, anyway, a lot of things in common. I remembered how much I liked her as a little kid, and thought that it was some kind of destiny that had brought us back together.
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