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Posted by Clem
on 9/10/2006, 11:33 pm
Hi. I have a really horrible emotional/ relationship?type problem. I am 17 years old and REALLY need your advice.Can you offer me any advice?
My Problem is this:
When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Skye
But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away and I got sent to the local comprehensive.
I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.
Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me.
Because of all these things(the death of my Grandma, the loss of Skye ) I began to feel very depressed.
Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:
Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.I started to refuse to go to school as I felt so low. I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one Skye was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too which made me terrified of High school.
I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.
At the end of the third year I then refused to go to school altogether as I couldn't cope any more with my life. I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school. Unsurprisingly I now failed ALL my GCSEs (apart from getting a ‘C’ In English) I feel so awful! I can’t believe I let this happen. I have then stupidly sat at home for the past year and done NOTHING with my life as I have been struggling with depression and haven't known what to do about my life. I need your advice.
However this is my problem:
I now want to go to college. The thing is is that I still REALLY really love Skye.the thing is I did have brief contact with him a few years ago and recieved comformation that BACK THEN he liked me.But he didn't know about me missing school back then. you see I sent him a valentine's card saying 'I think you're the most lovely person in the universe and always will no matter what!However now I just don't know what to
I want to go to college but the thing is I’ve just found out that the college I want to go to is right next door to the top educational sixth form that Skye’s at.
If I go to this college then I will definitely bump into him but the thing is I think I would die of shame. I feel like a complete freak.
he's studying 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc(basically for absolute dim-wits)
He'll NEVER EVER IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever---and I’m not! but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out I’m on an Entry level course, he’ll NEVER EVER be interested in me now.
Also it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway.So I cannot run away from this problem. If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him--, (when I am…and it would break my heart to do this) But if I talk to him NEVER like me anyway…. when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I;m a terrible person for refusing to go to school.
The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXAIIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL THINK I’M A TERRIBLE I have two options:to ignore him and lose him or to talk to him ….but I’ll lose him anyway once I’ve explained my situation! It’s hopeless!
.my other problem is that when I refused to go to school—so did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.HOW ON EARTG CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN?HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL.(he used to know her you see)
What on earth should I do?
I kept telling her she MUST go to school but she would not listen to me!
.I REALLY love him and couldn’t bear to lose him. But he’ll NEVER EVER be interested in me now.He’s studying A levels at a top sixth form……I’ll be starting an entry level course for dim-wits.But how on earth am I going to explain to him WHY I couldn’t go to school.What should I do?Can you offer me any advice? If i go to another college (which there is a STRONG probability that I might) then I'll bump into him whilt out and about anyway
should I ask Skye if he'd consider going out with me when he comes back from University? Or is this a bad idea?
Also what COULD/SHOULD i have done when I first started high school and Ian left my life. How could I have handled the situation better?What should I have done?
I know I went about everything in entirely the wrong way because all I've succeded in doing is ruining my education thereby ensuring that I have pretty much lost Skye as result. But how could I have held on to him back then?
.
I love Skye so much .....he means more to me than anyone in the world..............but I fear I'm going to lose him no matter what I do.
No matter what anybody says to just try to be kind I KNOW he wont want to date someone on an entry level course (I mean lets face it who would) I don't need lies or fairy talesif it's the trth that he probably won't like me i need to be told straight, for my own good as pretending never got anyone anywhere. But I just really feel I need your opinion on this.I just want to die..........it's inevitable we'll meet whatever I do.......how on earth am I going to explain to him WHY i refused to go to school. I can't bear to lose him. I built all my dreams around him crazy as it may sound. I love him and still have deep feelings for him which have not dissapeared.I just feel like dying. I feel like a freak going on an entry level course. I feel too ashamed and embarrassed to go to college.I don't want to lose him.......what can I do?I love him and I think i would die of pain if I lost him. I feel sick with fear. What can I do??
What should I do about Skye.....I love him...but I think I'm going to lose him no matter what I do.
Can you offer me any advice?
Please do NOT publish/print this letter
.How on earth do I explain to him why and about how I refused to go to school?
Also , even if Skye would go out with me (which he wouldn't) his mother would deeply dissaprove of/dislike me ......she said (because I met her once a VERY long time ago) that she wants Skye to have THE BEST (and i am imagining this includes partners) she would not like me. she would disaprove of me because I am so uneducated and would think me unworthy of her son.HELP!!!! What can I do
Also I need YOUR opinion: ...is it selfish to hold onto HIM? Please be honest? I have failed all my exams. Do you think Skye would have a bad life if it was with me?Because how can i possibly have any sort of a future now that I've failed all my exams? How can i have any sort of a decent future now that I've failed all my exams?? would Skye have a bad life if it was with me? Am I being selfish wanting to hold onto him? It's just he is studying A levels and has a great career/future ahead of him.....and I have failed my exams...will have to go on an entry level course......and therfore don't see what sort of a future I could offer him I couldn't bear it if he was unhappy.
WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT HIM????? PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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