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Posted by jr
on 5/27/2005, 7:07 pm
Okay, here it goes. I have been dating my girlfriend for the last year and half. Back in February she told me she didn't think that I could ever be the one, because I wasn't opening up to her emotionally. So, I begged for another chance and began seeing a counselor to start to help me open up my feelings more and be more emotionally sensitive to her needs. Well, I did that and have really changed alot since. We are absolutely BEST FRIENDS, we do everything together and enjoy our time together, the problem is there is no passion or intimacy. Three days ago she broke up with me. She stated that she loves me very much but that she is not in love with me. There is a twist to this. She does not want another relationship. She wants us to get a house together (of course separate rooms) and travel and do fun stuff together. No I am not rich, so she is not out for the money and as a matter of fact she has perfect credit, so it is not about financial gain (in terms of buying a house). She stated that she didn't have that emotional physical intimacy feeling with me, but that she loves everything else. I am definately so in love with her, we have three trips planned this summer. Here is where I am torn. How do I separate my feelings for her and turn it into just friendship. She is such a beautiful person inside and out and I am blessed that she will be in my life forever as best friends, but how do I let go of the "in love" part and just appreciate the future as best friends. I am heartbroken, but I am trying to reframe it. I am grateful for the friendship vs. not having her in my life. I just need to know how to let go of my current feelings for her, when I see her all the time and talk to her all the time. She tells me everyday, she wishes she could connect with me on that level but she can't make herself feel something she doesn't. I shut her out in the beginning when she was in love with me and she lost it. Now I have it and she doesn't. I am not hopeful of us getting back together as a couple, I just need some advice on how to move forward and let go of how I saw her before. I try to say to myself in terms of healing that "hey, I thought I was happy before, wait until I really see what God has in store for my future." I am not a church goer or religious, but find myself praying to be healed more now then ever. Any advice. Thanks all!
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