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Posted by lilfoot921
on 6/25/2005, 4:07 pm
My boyfriend and I are both 22 and have been dating exclusively for almost 2 years now. I've graduated college and am now working full time. He has one more year of undergrad left, after which he will attend medical school. During this time, I was always a bit guarded b/c I knew that we might break up depending on where he went to med school. Neither of us was interested in a long distance relationship and I knew it was a possiblity we would break up, thus I kept my heart at a safe distance. Up until a few months ago, my boyfriend had always maintained that he would like to me to be with him wherever he wound up going to med school. Hearing this multiple times over a span of a year, I assumed the relationship reached a certain level of seriousness and "let my guard down." By saying this I don't mean I've resorted to becoming a fat slob in baggy sweats. I've kept up my appearance, maintained my own life with hobbies and friends, refrained from nagging, you know all those relationship no no's. Recently though he has changed his mind. He no longer wants me to move with him after college should he have to. I've asked him why, he does not know. I've asked if I've done something, and he says "no." I've asked him about breaking up and he says he wants to be with me right now, and if he ends up going to med school in the area, then we will stay together. I've suggested taking a break to see other people and he said that's not it. I've asked if he was interested in someone else, and still "no." Since then, it's been a bit tense between us, seems like we are both confused: he by himself and me by him. I understand that a relationship during medical school is very difficult, and I have never asked for a commitment beyond being together as long as it's something both of us want. I understand he is a young man, unsure of where his future is, and I will give him the space he needs or be there for him. I know we are at different places in life as well, but I think we can compromise through that. For 3 months he was in China, we stayed together. Also, he lives in Hawaii (but goes to school in LA where I am), and we've managed to stay strong through that. He also went through depression for about a month, and I saw him through that as well. My question is why has he changed his mind about me? If he is so unsure of this relationship, why doesn't he just break up with me? Can we get back to the point in our relationship where he wanted me with him during medical school? And is it even possible for two people to have a relationship when they are different points in their life (ie. I am working, he is in school)? Sorry this was so long, any advice would be appreciated very much. THANK YOU 
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