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    The Duel Archived Message

    Posted by Hardy on 3/2/2012, 10:37 pm, in reply to "Re: Who ate all the carrots?"

    Its 5am at Whirinaki. The sun slowly arises and the pristine beach is bathed in its pink glow, the sea is flat, with only a gentle swell. So good for fishing, but alas today, tis is to be a duel. Gary arrives on the beach with his second at hand. Kane arrives with his second. The seconds say, we will just leave you two, to this. And retire. The crowd has gathered, awaiting, to see more than Kahawai blood spilt.

    Both opponents have bought their favourite lances( Which are better suited to fishing than jousting). One of the awed crowd calls out, where are your Horses, Gary replies, well I caught one and the Mrs got one too, Kane replies, I got a few too,not quite as big. But almost horses.

    The crowd yelled loudly. come on get at it, we are here for blood. Not bloody fishing stories.

    Right that is it yelled the two opponents. And cast their lances aside.

    Right who has first shot cried "Kemsley of the Water" me cause I am younger cried " Kane of the Hunt". But I will allow you to take the first shot due to your age.

    Done cried " Kemsley of the Water" and drawing from his ample saddle which he carried upon his back, withdrew a pie. Turning to the crowd he cried may the best man win. And I shall start with a steak and Onion pie from Napiers Finest Bakery. Gone in three gulps.

    Kane reached into his saddle and withdrew one of the biggest carrots known to mankind. This is an Ohakune Carrot, from the heart of Carrot growing Country, and in three gulps it was gone.

    And so the duel continued. Steak and Mushroom with cheese, countered Pukekohe Carrots.

    Lamb and mint came up against South Canterbury Carrots. And the duel went on. Curry and Mince met Chatham Island Super Carrots. Carrots and Pies from throughout New Zealand came to duel with each other.

    Finally " Kemsley of the Water" said I have wind, so do I cried " Kane of the Hunt" . We must stop to let it go. One of the crowd murmured, oh Damm Hot air is about to hit us. Another cried, Oh no, we need it, that is when the gurnard come on the bite. Another yelled I catch all mine on flat sea's with no wind.

    As the wind blew the crowd started to disperse. Damm one yelled we should have gone to the " Beach of the Pipe". Damm said another I don't do that stuff, Na ya silly bugger said another I meant East Clive. Its not as smelly as this place.

    And so it came to pass, that on the pristine beach of Whirinaki no blood was spilt. No lances used. And no " Horses " were taken or used. And no gurnard, Lemons, or Kahawai even taken.

    Honour was restored. And the small area of Marram glass recieved its yearly blessing, to grow with renewed vigour in the coming year.

    In years to come it will always be known as the Pie and Carrot patch. And maybe it will once again produces " Horses" as of days gone bye. And when the wind is blowing, maybe even the odd " Carrot or two.

    Cheers Hardy





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