I know he's still alive because he sent out a Tweet.
"We grew up so poor our computer ran on Window."
Ummm...yeah, that's almost making his joke in my dream look pretty good. I mean...I'm 25 years younger than him and when I was a kid Windows didn't exist. There was DOS. So...I mean...it just doesn't work.
And even...well, whatever. He only had one Window. Fine. I guess that's sort of a joke. Inasmuch as a woman's big boobs aren't getting any quieter, I guess.
Maybe he gets better. Not everything can be a winner.
"It's time to start turning your linoleum into liyesleum. Be the change, y'all."
Umm...I'm not even sure if this is a joke. I'll have to Google "liyesleum". It's nothing. So...yeah. What else do you have, George?
"I'll straight up reside in a place that's zoned commercial & watch commercials in a place that's zoned residential I'm off the damn chain!"
Commercial property is cheaper than residential property and years ago I was reading about people who sneakily rented commercial property to live in. There's a lot of legal issues with this because the properties aren't meant to be lived in. So...that part kind of works, I guess. If that's what he's looking to do.
Buy why on earth would he want to watch commercials in a residential area? As opposed to...I mean...that's where most people watch commercials (i.e. their homes) but nobody looks forward to this.
No, that whole just just doesn't work. It's another nonsense. What else?
"Just mixed Cialis with LSD and had sex with a rainbow for 2 days."
I assume that Cialis is some kind of sex drug like Viagra. Let me check. Oh, yeah. So...okay, I get this. LSD causes hallucinations, he's seeing a rainbow and fornicating with it because of the erection. Yeah, okay. It makes sense. It's a joke. Not a funny one but it's not bad.
It's easy to work blue, though. What else?
Couple of weird Fruit Loops and Mr Clean jokes that are almost exactly the same. And they're stupid. So I'll skip those.
A lot of dumb half-jokes that I'll skip, actually.
Oh, here's something.
"Just bought shampoo with a big EXTERNAL USE ONLY warning on it. I wanna know what dumbass popped that sucker open like a damn Dr. Pepper?"
That looks familiar but I don't know. Maybe it's him who made it up.
"In Rome do they use American numerals and whatnot?"
This is a perplexing one. At first I thought it was a take on "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". But no. I don't think so. I think it's about Roman numerals. But...the numbering system used in the US (and most of the non-Asian world) is Arabic. And...yeah, they use that in Rome. No, the more I think I about it, the less sense this one makes.
"A good prank is to put a bucket of water on top of someone's door and right before the bucket spills on em you hit em with a baseball bat."
This was obvious. The old switcheroo. But I like it for a different reason. He's using a vaudville gag that wouldn't be familiar to many people under...let's say 60. I only know about it because I watched Bozo as a kid and that show was full of vaudville skits. Not exactly a contemporary joke, though.
It seems that he likes the WWE. He wrote a few Tweets about the recent Summerslam.
"And why do wrestlers only hit with folding chairs? Why not step it up & use a recliner? 'The Undertaker's reachin' for a love seat!'"
Okay, maybe it's just because I enjoyed wrestling as a child but I laughed at this one.
Here's another good one. He was in the zone.
"Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot."
So yeah, some good stuff. And he's cranking jokes out on a regular basis. I don't want to criticise. Yeah, some of them don't even really make any sense but it's better than I can do.
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