If this is your actual weight, I'm sorry to hear that and I would suggest going to a doctor.
I'll tell you who's a legitimate 300 pounds, though. Some chick who contacted me on Gumtree about eight years ago.
I'm sure I told this story before so I won't go into great detail but it's one of my favourites.
Get a reply from my Gumtree ad. The ad said that I was looking for Asian women. So the reply says, "I'm not Asian but hello from a fellow American!"
I still have the emails and you can tell from them that I'm not remotely interested. But we exchange a few disinterested messages.
Then I send her a picture of me and she stops replying.
Well, alright. I'm talking to other women. Asian women. And I wasn't interested in this woman anyway. She was probably a lingerie model or something so out of my league. No big deal.
A few years go by and checking my old emails. I decide to look this woman up.
She's moved back to the US, she's working for a charity in New York (the state, not the city), and she's absolutely enormous.
I like this story because it's the perfect example of internet dating. Here's a woman who loved England, wanted to remain in England, had a low-paying admin job, and was twice my size. BUT SHE STILL THOUGHT THAT SHE COULD DO BETTER.
So there's that part of internet dating. Getting rejected by really unappealing women. Women with no jobs, little education, unattractive, overweight, single mothers, et cetera. I mean, it's one thing to go out with such women. It's a whole other thing to be rejected by such women.
But here's the second part of this story which makes it so typical of internet dating: nobody met this woman's standards. That's why she had to move back to the US.
Before the internet, fat, unemployed, unattractive women were happy to go out with absolutely anyone and held on to them like grim death.
But now with internet dating, even these bottom of the barrel women can be picky. But they do it to their detriment. Yeah, maybe once in a while a hot guy off the internet might have sex with them once because he's particularly horny. But he's not going to stay with this mastadon long-term. But because of this encounter, these unappealing women get a distorted view of their value in the dating scene and reject guys who are their equals or even betters. They end up looking for somebody who doesn't exist.
So you look up these women ten years or whatever later. Still single, as poor as ever, ten years older, and heavier than ever before. It doesn't get better.
Nothing on tv. I've given up on television. I don't even have it on as background noise any more. There's nothing even background noise worthy on any more.
So I was watching Electra Glide in Blue again. It's no Easy Rider. That's for sure. Not really any music, for example. A soundtrack would have really helped.
Anyway, there's some stuff that I like and some stuff that I don't like. If you haven't seen this 1973 film and you plan to, avoid the spoilers below.
Let's start with what I like. The opening scene where he's getting it on with his girlfriend and putting the leather on and heading off to his bike. That's all well shot.
I like the scene where they're at the roadside food stall and he's flirting with some disinterested young women.
I like the early scenes where he's pulling people over. I particularly like how he treats his fellow veteran driving the truck. "I'll give you what they gave me in Nam: nothing."
I like the scene where the partner is reading comic books and starts talking about Wonder Woman. "That Wonder Woman is really built."
What I don't like: pretty much the last half of the movie.
The scene where the detective is beating on the hippies in the commune was bad. It was just way too fake. He delivers a punch that wouldn't be effective in real life, throw another hippie into some sticks (big deal) and I guess does some kind of arm twisty thing on a third hippie. That's when one of the hippies admits to knowing the suspect that he's looking for. But why? All he did was punch a guy in the gut (with a weak-looking punch), throw a guy into some sticks, and possibly twist some guy's arm (the camera didn't show it).
Also didn't like the big chase scene. His partner shoots somebody and that turns his motorcycle and the rider into a giant ball of flames. How did this happen? And then there's that hippie who falls off his bike and then turns into a dummy who gets run over by a police car who also burst into flames merely by jumping a curb. It's just dumb. Why would all of these people be killed? Why is everything blowing up? Wouldn't there be a big investigation after this for all of these deaths?
The scene where the guy's girlfriend reveals that she's having sex with the detective and the protagonist isn't very good either. It has its moments, I guess. But not good overall. And why does the detective get so pissed off? It's not like the protagonist knew that she was his girlfriend.
The whole scene where the guy's partner is drunk or high or something and for some reason he's in a trailer with no wall playing the piano and it's revealed that he has a new bike (which was his dream) and somehow this makes him an accomplice to a murder. Something to do with the chase scene, I think. But I didn't get it. And then for reasons that escape me, he starts shooting at the protagonist and one of the shots hits a random guy who just happens to be wandering that part of the desert, so then the protagonist shoots his partner. It's just bad all around.
Oh, the big murderer reveal is bad too. It wasn't the hippie, it was the guy's mentally ill friend. And the reason he killed him was because the victim sold drugs to hippies because he was lonely and wanted company of young people so this crazy guy was jealous so killed him. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
And how does this crazy man, who seems to have the mental age of a 7 year old, have the foresight and inventiveness to stage a suicide by tying a string around the victim's foot and connecting it to the trigger of a shotgun? It doesn't sit with me at all.
Then the ending where he gets shot by the hippie who he pulled over earlier in the film. Why was he shot? He was just trying to return their driver's licence. If the hippies were okay with getting pulled over just minutes earlier, why did they feel the need to shoot him the second time? Like so much in the film, it doesn't really make sense.
It's how Easy Rider ended. And the film is clearly inspired by Easy Rider. There's a scene where they're shooting a picture from Easy Rider at the shooting gallery.
But in Easy Rider, the shooting was senseless but there was still a motive. They were rednecks and didn't like hippies. And the rednecks gave these hippies a warning. It was clear that they were up to no good.
It just didn't work in Electra Glide in Blue.
So yeah. Watch the first 45 minutes or so. And watch the entirety of Easy Rider. Again, I think Easy Rider starts to lose momentum at the end (the trippy brothel scenes are hard to watch) but it's generally great. Much more substance than in Electra Glide in Blue. Philosophical stuff, you know.
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