I started saying "screwed up" because all the kids in school were saying it. Then my mother said, "Don't say that." I said, "Why not?" She said, "Just don't say it."
What kind of shit is that? First of all, I'm pretty sure she was wrong that there's something offensive about "screwed up". Yes, "screw" also means "sex" and "fucked up" is something that people say but I'm not sure if these things are all related. The Cambridge Dictionary doesn't define it as vulgar. Although, they define it as "sad" which isn't the meaning I was using it.
"Messed up" would be a similar term and that's not vulgar. There's a (very) mildly interesting debate here:
Seem to be plenty of people in each camp.
Actually, after reading that, I guess she was right. Because you can say "screw you" but you can't say "mess you". The only other option is "fuck you". So it probably is a reference to intercourse. Like how "sucks" is considered impolite by many people because it has a sexual origin.
But all she had to say was, "Because it's impolite language." Maybe I would have wanted further clarification but you don't have to get into the sexual nuances. Just it's vulgar language. Not something that people say in polite company. Simple. Instead she said, "Just don't say it."
Second example: my neighbour went to tae kwon do classes with me. She was a woman in her late 20s or early 30s with a couple of kids. Friend of my mother.
So this woman was teaching tae kwon do classes while the sensei was away. Kind of weird when you think about it because she was only doing those classes for about two months. Why would he leave her in charge of the place?
Anyway, it came time to pay the monthly tuition. My mother gave me the cheque in an envelope. Normally, she would just give me the cheque loose. So I asked why it's in an envelope. "It just is. Give it like that." "I don't want to give it like this. What's the point of this?" "Just give it like that."
No explanation. I knew what the reason was: because my neighbour was paying a lot more than we were because my mother refused to pay what the sensei was asking. By the way, "sensei" is Japanese for "conman" in the sense I'm using it. But my neighbour was paying full price. So my mother didn't want my neighbour to find out that we were paying so much less than she was.
So when I got to the dojo, I took the cheque out of the envelope and gave it to my neighbour loose. Then my neighbour quit that dojo because she was angry that she was paying so much more than we were. About a month later, I also stopped going to that dojo because it was a huge hassle for my sisters to drive me. It was pretty far away.
All of this could have been avoided. "Why is the cheque in an envelope?" "Because the neighbour is paying more for classes than we are and she'd get upset if she knew about this." That's it. What's so hard about that? I wouldn't have said anything more and I'd give her the cheque in the envelope.
Final example: our neighbours across the street had a really lame light display one Christmas. Just a few strings of lights in the window. So I ran around singing comedic songs about this and even made a pin showing my support for this light display.
Then my mother told me to stop all of that. I asked why. She said, "Just stop doing it." I didn't understand.
Had she said, "Because maybe they don't have much money and can't afford many lights" I would have understood and stopped my singing. I mean, it's an opportunity to talk about poverty and not insulting people who have less money than you, et cetera. She also could have mentioned that we don't have much money and be thankful for what you have and whatever.
Instead, it was just "don't do it." Treating me like an idiot.
In other news, I was reading some messages about submissive women. They really resonated with what I know my ladyfriend enjoys.
For example, being called a "slut" and whatnot. Not that I've ever called her a "slut" but she really liked the suggestions that she was a prostitute and being used for sex and whatnot.
Also, not being allowed to wear clothes in the home was a common thing that I saw in these messages. I suggested this to her before and she really liked it but ended up not doing it. But then she suggested just wearing a thong when she's living with me. And she wasn't joking. She'd do it and she likes that sort of thing.
She's always slept in a thong or sometimes totally naked. It's just what she likes to do.
Saying "good girl" is another thing I saw and she likes that as well. I've only said it a few times but, you know, some women would be quick to correct you if they didn't like that but she liked it. And I don't mean sexually, just saying "good girl" for doing regular stuff.
Spankings, never done that but no doubt she'd be into that. Anything to do with her buttocks she's all for.
Again, doesn't even have to be a sexual thing. Watch I Love Lucy. Ricardo is wailing on Lucy's ass in every episode. It's just the way things were done in those days. You spank children, you spank your wife. If it's good enough for the bible, it's good enough for your family.
Of course, now we're more enlightened about corporal punishment but she'd like it. So...you know...it's fine. You can spank your wife if your wife is into that.
It's just the way some women are. They like a take charge, macho, manly man kind of guy.
Some of the stuff I was reading was clearly over the top, cartoonish, gross BDSM stuff. "I have to be naked and on my knees ready to suck his dick when he comes home or else he beats me." Well, okay, that's just weird sexual stuff and we don't need to hear about that. But I'm talking about a real relationship with real people where the woman just enjoys the traditional submissive role.
Not that being naked in one's home has ever been traditional. But whatever. I think it's good.
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