I have a dream where some really fat chick was trying to have sex with me. I kept declining the offer and was trying to be polite about it but she was persistent.
So I was all like, "Well, okay, I'll take my clothes off but that's it." Then she tried to put my penis in her vagina but I was all like, "No way. We can't do that."
So she started sucking my dick and straight away I pulled away. I mean seriously, this woman was obese. Absolutely enormous. It was disgusting.
She she says, "Let me jerk you off at least" and I was agreeable to that. So she's masturbating me and I feel like I can cum at any time but she's only been doing it for like 30 seconds at best. So I try to hold it in but then I think, "Well, I don't even really want to be doing this anyway". So I blow a load. Just a small amount at first. But then it comes out like I'm urinating on her. Just a steady stream of semen for a good 15 seconds easy. It's going into my face and then it's splashing all over her. She actually says, "eww" and is disgusted by this.
This was all taking place in my childhood home in the living room. So I go to my bedroom and my mother is coming by and I think, "Thank God that I finished all of that before she arrived". But then I realise that while I'm dressed, I don't have a shirt on. Just a t-shirt. So I think, "Well, this looks perhaps a bit suspicious but it could be worse."
In other news, made some chili today. Used a new recipe. It turned out pretty good.
It's easy, as the name suggests. I didn't use a slow cooker, though. You just cook the meat, drain, add onions and green pepper, add spices, add canned tomatoes, add kidney beans, and let simmer for 30 minutes.
Previously, I was always trying to copy the Wick Fowler 2 Alarm Chili recipe because I used to use Wick Fowler's 2 Alarm Chili kit all the time when I was in the US and it was really good. But I don't know. Every time I've tried to use this recipe that claims to have reverse-engineered the kit, it doesn't turn out well.
This recipe that I used today is easy. Two tablespoons of chili powder, two teaspoons of garlic powder, and a teaspoon each of cumin, salt, and pepper. And that looks about right to me. All you need for chili is a heavy dose of chili powder, some cumin, garlic, and salt and pepper.
This Wick Fowler used all kinds of shit. Paprika, for example. And separate cayane pepper. Cayanne pepper should already be in the chili powder. But I guess if you want more heat.
And what is paprika anyway? I couldn't tell you what it tastes like. Same for cumin for that matter, but I know that's a necessity for chili. Oh. It's ground up bell peppers. Can that be right? Bell peppers have very little flavour. That would explain paprika's lack of flavour, I suppose.
And yeah, this chili from today used green peppers as an ingredient. That's the first time I've done that. Turned out fine. I like it.
I also got some of those Jacob cream crackers to crumble on top. They're not as good as Saltines but you can't get Saltines in crappy UK. But yeah, these crackers really make it. I had some without crackers and it was still good but not as good as with the crackers. Maybe it's just because it's so long since I had chili with crackers.
Indeed, was this the first time I made chili since that food allergy scare? Maybe. Fingers are feeling good.
I could probably go to sleep now.
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