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I had the same diagnosis, same treatments, and same emotional crash! When you're going through the process, you're putting one foot in front of the other and not allowing yourself to look at the entire picture. You also keep telling yourself how lucky you are, and how selfish it is to feel sorry for yourself. You don't want God to think you're ungrateful after all!! But then it happens, the sudden realization of what you've just been through... I ended up taking 5 weeks out of work because I just couldn't function. Between that and the Lexipro my doctor started me on (I have always been high anxiety anyway), I feel like a new person. I am back to work about 25-30 hours, still deciding if I will go back to 40, and I feel so much better.
One thing I think happens is....and this is just my theory.... we are so tough on ourselves that people think we are stronger than we are, and think they have to be strong around us too. So we don't get the sympathy - or empathy- that we need. Once we let it all go, we find that people are glad we've finally allowed ourselves to fall apart a little and are very sympathetic and supportive. They can finally say things like "you've been through a lot" and "you deserve some time to relax." And that acknowledgement alone makes us feel better.
Don't be afraid to tell your doctor that you're having a hard time. Mine actually told me she was surprised I had not called sooner. You may just need a little 'you' time and he/she can help you with that.
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