Gambling, has taken its toll, and soon, we will be doing a trial separation on her request.
I tried everything to keep her happy, but I was doing the wrong thing.
When I was giving her money to gamble, it was like giving a drink to a person who has a problem with alcohol.
Soon, a lot things started happening beyond our control.
What little money went to pay our bills, leaving little for her gambling.
That led to her drinking and borrowing money, I had to make good on her debts.
Next came her been hopitalize, several times in the last few months.
Now it appears that she will be in need of long term care.
My son and his family will be moving to Altoona, Pennsylvania.
They asked if I wanted to come along.
I decided to go along to see if this trial separation will be good for Lupe.
Below is some information on pathological gambling and its effect on family.
Question;
Is pathological gambling similar to chemical dependency?
Answer;
Yes and no. Similarities between pathological gambling and chemical dependency include an inability to stop/control the addiction, denial, severe depression, and mood swings. Pathological gambling and chemical dependency are both progressive diseases with similar phases. These include "chasing" the first win/high, experiencing blackouts and using the object of addiction to escape pain. Both pathological gamblers and persons addicted to alcohol or drugs are preoccupied with their addiction, experience low self-esteem, use rituals, and seek immediate gratification.
Unlike chemical addiction, pathological gambling is a hidden disease gamblers do not stumble, have needles in their arm, or smell of cards and dice. Pathological gamblers cannot overdose in the conventional sense, but they experience tremendous financial problems that require immediate attention. More resources are available to chemical dependency than gambling addiction, in part because most people do not perceive gambling as potentially addicting. It is very important that pathological gamblers receive crisis stabilization at the beginning of their treatment, because pathological gamblers have a much higher suicide rate than persons addicted to alcohol or drugs.
Question;
How are children affected by pathological gambling?
Answer;
Children may be affected in several ways. They may be physically and/or emotionally abandoned by their parents, who are unable to provide their children with needed attention and nurturing because of the time spent gambling. "Casino kids" have been left by themselves at the outer rim of casinos while their parents gamble, according to some casino security officers. In some extreme cases, children are left in the family car in the casino parking lot for hours at a time while their parents gamble inside. Less obviously, children may also spend several hours each week with babysitters while their parents gamble in casinos, bingo halls or card rooms. All of these scenarios may lead a child to feel physically and emotionally abandoned.
In addition, the dysfunction that pathological gambling creates in a home often includes spouse and child abuse. Children are abused verbally, mentally and physically by the gambler, and often even more so by the co-dependent spouse. This devastating abuse frequently goes unnoticed or is denied by others as the child suffers in silence.
Another way children are affected by pathological gambling is when they become pathological gamblers themselves. Today, teens are approximately three times more likely than adults to become problem and pathological gamblers. It is imperative that we educate young people about the dangers of pathological gambling and the importance of seeking help if gambling becomes a problem.
Question;
Are gamblers addicted to money?
Answer;
Pathological gamblers are addicted to action, not money. Many pathological gamblers will gamble to lose in the desperation phase of their addiction, because it is the action they seek, not the money. For a gambler, being in action is similar to being high on cocaine for the person addicted to cocaine. Both describe their "drug of choice" as seductive and ultimately destructive.
Question;
Is there a biological basis for pathological gambling?
Answer;
Biological findings from a recent study indicate that pathological gambling is an addiction similar to chemical addiction.
A study conducted by Alec Roy, M.D., a psychiatrist formerly at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, showed that some pathological gamblers have lower levels of norepinephrine than normal gamblers. This brain chemical is secreted under stress, arousal, thrill and excitement, so pathological gamblers may engage in activities such as gambling to increase their levels of norepinephrine.
This evidence supports the assertion made by Dr. Henry Lesieur, among others, that some pathological gamblers are "action seekers" who gamble, not for money, but for the excitement associated with being in action.
Semper Fidelis/Semper Fi
Ricardo
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