She was determined to have DD move in with me and told me so over the phone, which DD overheard. Dd began talking about it.
This was not a good plan. First because of the state I live in and the state system. Second because of DDs obsessive behavior when living with me. Third is her DB can not deal with her at all. Plus he & his wife will be in Phillipines 6 months of the year. I won't go into more details, just there are very long-term issues that can't be resolved, ever. Add My age/health factors. Plus lack of transportation, etc.
Yesterday morning, I heard from Dd's FM.
She has reduced the number of clients she houses. So that DD will now have her own room.
Her roommate will also have her own room as well. A very good change for both. Though they have shared a room for years... they are ready for some physical independence.
But the Fm has changed her mind re Dd living here. This was something I was totally against.
What a relief when her Fm called and told me she had realized that it was best if Dd stayed in the CA system.
There are a number of good reason for her to stay in CA.
1 she has been in the system since she was 6 years old.
She was very physical and mentally agitated. I worked and used babysitters. Dd was so hard to handle that I lost job after job as babysitters would just quit. Even in the middle of work days.
My son could not deal with his sister. Finally at age 8 he moved in with his father. That was a blow for me. It was just after that DD was placed in her first home.
I worked in the programs she attended as much as possible while working 9 to 5 myself.
One day Dd disappeared due to a staff moving her into a new home without my or her coaches permission. The staff asked her if she wanted to move. Dd said yes and wala She was lost for almost a month. Dds file said I made all decisions. But this staff never read Dds file.
This was so frightening. No one could find her. Thank God it was her current DFM who was introduced to DD in a mental institution. She & her husband took her into their home. As soon as they received dds files they called me. I had been searching for weeks and was terrified for her safety. I went over to their home right away. What a relief to find her.
There is more to the story. But, suffice it to say Dd has been safe, improving in all ways and very happy. This is a brief overview of the extreme situation Dd was living in and the wonderful home and family that took her in as a family member. It's been 30 plus years. Dd will be 50 this Sept.
Dd has made friends with other clients, staff, counselors, teachers, drs, etc all over Southern Calif. I would not move her out of her home ground.
The system here is nothing like CAs system. Dd has been in the CA system even when living with me, through her late teens early 20s.
Back to the current situation. Dds FM came to realize that CA is Dds home. That she needs to stay with the people she knows. Other Clients, staff, coaches, management as well and medical professionals.
What a relief to know Dd will be with tons of people she knows and who know her.
Once the Covid situation is no longer a threat. Dd will come here twice a year for a weeks vacation.
Her fm & I are on the phone often. I talk with Dd two plus hours every day and sometimes longer. Now she is back to work every day we talk an hour plus minus every night. I am part of her life and she is part of mine and her brothers and her sil, including his 3 adult kids.
It is a full life once more.
I wanted to share part of the chaos I have been dealing with over the last 4 years, well the last 50 years.
Thanks for listening. I just needed to open up about the relief I am feeling.
Love All Life; Thank You For Posting! :)