But, I am very sorry for your losses. They are overwhelmingly painful.
Most of my childhood was wonderful and special, too, and it's very sad to lose anyone from it.
My prayers begin with you not having anymore losses for a long while. And, that you and yours enjoy increasingly better health as we go into the new year, and beyond. Plus, that the worst pain from your losses dulls as soon as possible to the point of hurting when you think about them, but not being sharply painful all the time.
I am not good with losing people in my life, and it seems to stay very painful for a long time, so my wish for your pain to reach a tolerable level sooner than later is heartfelt.
I've had a thought...
You are a good writer. What if you were to write a series of short stories/memories about your childhood?
Tell about the every day things that you did with your friends and relatives, then perhaps about specific incidents.
At the least, it might help you to get through this time, as you write about the people that you've lost, and those that you have not.
Then, you can share the stories/memories with your Dd's and Dgd's.
Eventually, you may want to share them with the other kids that you grew up with.
School memories, playing outside memories, family get-together memories, etc.
Just a thought...
In any case, as I said, I'm so sorry for your losses. (((Hugs!)))
Any time that you want to talk about it, or the people, we are here, and care.
Love All Life; Thank You For Posting! :)