I think you need to tell them you need help. After all you have done for others.
Don't expect them to help you. Don't ask... tell them to help you. You are the Mom.
It's my experience that Dh's always need to be told.
You are a strong woman Judy. Remember that... and know I am burning a candle to send you more strength. Prayers you grow stronger during this difficult time.
As for Social Security - call them and get explanations. It sounds like they made the error, if there is one. Ask for an ADVOCATE... it's what I had to do. Don't do this alone... get help from the system. Go to the social security website and get a copy of your record.... and any other information you need.
It's the government and they must provide support.
They set the amount you are entitled to. If you have any copies of the paperwork from them. Get out and check it out. Do not accept they are right.
Prayers for Fonzi - trust you will find the help he needs. You are a strong woman. Love you.
Love All Life, Thank You For Posting! :)