There was a bloke, Colin in my old local who only had one arm. One evening a group of rather annoying, noisy people came in. The landlady noticed a young lady with them was wearing a badge 'I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous'

Pam had a wicked sense of humour. 'Colin at the end of the bar would LOVE that badge' She turned to him, (he had a big grin on his face) & went white. They left shortly afterwards.