Stole this from another website, made me chuckle.

The pretty boy bike rider- The Museum & Investment Pieces (Estimated 40%): Pristine, low-mileage, or perfectly restored models that live in climate-controlled garages or museums, rarely ever started. Owners can be seen stroking the gas tank or themselves while bragging about how fast and wild he is. Sometimes seen driving an EV or a BMW- likes drinking carrot juice and latte. Prefers very expensive car wax and farms out maintenance.

The wanna be rider- The Weekend/Event Cruisers (Estimated 55%): Bikes maintained in excellent running order, but only driven 5 to 10 times a year for local vintage rallies, "Two-Stroke Tuesdays," or short weekend joyrides. Tidy and well dressed with branding has a preference for coffee, coke, beer and loose attractive women. Rides above 20C and below 30C but only if the sun is shining. Has minor selection of tools in good condition.

The real rider- The Regular / Dedicated Riders (Estimated 5%): The very small minority of hardcore enthusiasts who actively brave the roads on a weekly basis, deal with the temperamental handling, and absorb the high maintenance lifestyle. Rides in a wide temperature and humidity range. Will drink and eat anything during a ride, will have sex with small farm animals, washes hands in paint thinners and can be seen riding on one wheel in their natural habitat. Quiet type, loves tools, brags little, screws a lot and buys lots of fuel and oil. If you are very observant they may occasionally be seen displaying coloured full sentence foul language in their workshop with a beer in one hand and wrench in the other. Often wrench dents can be seen in garage walls.

I am fall in the 555 / 5% group, but I will pass on sex with small furry animals.