IKBA.co.uk Messages

Stole this from another website, made me chuckle.

The pretty boy bike rider- The Museum & Investment Pieces (Estimated 40%): Pristine, low-mileage, or perfectly restored models that live in climate-controlled garages or museums, rarely ever started. Owners can be seen stroking the gas tank or themselves while bragging about how fast and wild he is. Sometimes seen driving an EV or a BMW- likes drinking carrot juice and latte. Prefers very expensive car wax and farms out maintenance.

The wanna be rider- The Weekend/Event Cruisers (Estimated 55%): Bikes maintained in excellent running order, but only driven 5 to 10 times a year for local vintage rallies, "Two-Stroke Tuesdays," or short weekend joyrides. Tidy and well dressed with branding has a preference for coffee, coke, beer and loose attractive women. Rides above 20C and below 30C but only if the sun is shining. Has minor selection of tools in good condition.

The real rider- The Regular / Dedicated Riders (Estimated 5%): The very small minority of hardcore enthusiasts who actively brave the roads on a weekly basis, deal with the temperamental handling, and absorb the high maintenance lifestyle. Rides in a wide temperature and humidity range. Will drink and eat anything during a ride, will have sex with small farm animals, washes hands in paint thinners and can be seen riding on one wheel in their natural habitat. Quiet type, loves tools, brags little, screws a lot and buys lots of fuel and oil. If you are very observant they may occasionally be seen displaying coloured full sentence foul language in their workshop with a beer in one hand and wrench in the other. Often wrench dents can be seen in garage walls.

I am fall in the 555 / 5% group, but I will pass on sex with small furry animals.

That was supposed to be 55% / 5% if I edit the message I lose the formatting!

they are not all furry, according to my friend

Beer and spannering don't mix.

Hence the dents in the garage walls 😀

Beer and sheep shagging are not for me but i do ride in any weather and have 7 chests of tools holding around 2000 tools which i should be selling really.
Each year though, on Dartmoor run, there are some pretty sheep at the roadside giving the come on, should i stop and take up the offer ?

"there are some pretty sheep at the roadside giving the come on, should i stop and take up the offer"

Could be the difference between a 5% and 55% er....😀

I rode until I was about 81, then I started falling off when stationary; I took that as a sign to give it away and use Shank's pony. 😲

Well done for riding to that age Leon - hope I can make it that far.

I would like to stay riding o at least 80. That will be a challenge but i still believe i am a competent rider and very alert out on bikes.
The one thing that may end it is ankles decaying from arthritis. The gear lever adaptations are a success so no need to use toes to change gear now

I beat that, oops forgot I'm on 17 😁😁

You will be riding at 90 Jerry😁
There are quite a few men in their 80s riding on the 2 annual rides i go on. Most of them dont fall off but seen one or 2 topple over as they try and park up.

I sure hope so Geoff. My only old age fault at the moment is arthritis in my fingers making pulling in the clutch a bit painful but apart from that I do know I'm one of the lucky ones to still be doing what I do today. Sure hope to be out on the race tracks again next year and continue with my doubles badminton matches each week. Just wish my bikes would stop putting on weight as they sure seem heavier these days 😀😀

To cut down on weight, try using lighter petrol sold in tobacco shops.

I'm sort of 5%, but do find goats quite attractive and practical as there's less bending when servicing them than when servicing the bike. I use Vaseline as a barrier cream, don't do wheelies & prefer a full-bodied red to beer.