Roseanne: I think they turned out great
Dan: Oh, please, Roseanne! Look, at them, they're not exactly the Kennedy kids!
Roseanne: No, they're not, but their dad sure drinks like Uncle Teddy!
Dan: They're failures, Roseanne, and the only reason you won't admit it is because you'll have to admit you failed as a mother!
Roseanne: The only way I failed as a mother is to let Becky and Darlene get married so young that they threw their whole life away on a man, just like I did.
Dan: You didn't throw away a thing.
Roseanne: Yes, I did, Dan, I threw everything away.
Dan: [during their worst fight of the series] why don't you tell me how to clean up this crap that you call decoration?
[the throws the contents of the mantel to the floor]
Roseanne: Okay, I will. I want you to pick them all up using your ass, and start with the pointy things!
Dan: You are a controlling b###h!
[he flips the coffee table over]
Roseanne: No, I'm not, Dan. I'm just trying to do whatever it takes to get you up off of your ass and stop staring at that damn TV!
[she smashes a toy through the TV]
Dan: Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -
Roseanne: What? Say it.
Dan: Nothin'
Roseanne: Well that makes two of us. You can die if you want to Dan but you're gonna have to do it alone because I'm not gonna sit here and watch you. I'll be at Jackie's.
[she storms out]
Too bad Dan was already dead for three seasons when this fight happened and Rosanne just imagined it...
That move in Jenga can never fail. Either you succeed, or you look like a badass who DGAF!
I never get embed links - I use adblock plus in chrome. Never have a problem...except for all the pr0n viruses!