Here I am 11 days into the month and no progress at all. I came to an interesting realizing this morning as I walked around my neighborhood. I have an addiction! I hadn't seen it that way before, but it's true. I always wondered why drug and alcohol addicts had such a hard time giving up on the bad habits to better themselves. They have gone to extremes of losing homes and loved ones because they have chosen their addicting lives over everything else. Food addiction is just as bad. It might not destroy families (maybe in the long run) or make you loose your home/jobs but it will affect your lifestyle and be limited to doing things. There were times I wanted my family to leave so I can binge... I rather be alone with food than enjoy the company of a loved one because I AM AN ADDICT!

Last night I was talking to my dear friend from NJ (he's survived a terrible car accident last October and had been hospitalized and gone through multiple surgeries since. He has really come along way and is now in better spirits. He's finally home and walking with a cane! Anyway, while he was recovering and away from home for 5 months, he couldn't smoke. He was given nicotine to subside the urge, but he swore he'd never have another puff in his life and even his coughing lessened to none-excistance. Now, he's been home almost 2 weeks (11 days to be exact) and he's been chain smoking. He says he can't stop, enjoying every puff but he also knows it's not good for him so he will quit on "Monday" I didn't press him on what Monday that may be but I was upset and he noticed so he changed the conversation and asked how I was doing on Cambridge! Ouch. That's when it hit me. How can I not understand an addict (him) when it takes one to know one (me). I now get it. And I understand where he's coming from with having to smoke. Maybe he doesn't want to do it anymore. He knows no good will come out of it health wise and he will be limited to his lifestyle by continuing to doing so. He had a glimpse of how he felt without it (no coughing, breathing and sleeping better) but now he faces a battle all addicts have to face. And only he can determine what he wants to do about it.

So, having said all that, I am starting again because as much as I am a food addict, I don't want to be anymore. It won't be easy, it will take time, patience and motivation and a supporting team (YOU, the reader). I have failed many times, but I have also tried as much and will not give up. So, here's to Day 1!

Quick update on my weight:
Before Denver - 314 lbs.
Post Denver - 311 lbs.
3/18/19 - 304 lbs.
3/27/19 - 299.6 lbs.
This morning (4/11/19) - 301.2 lbs.