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Stress Posted by Barbara on 5/4/2018, 10:37 pm I am so stressed out today. Actually since last night. Let me say first I still didn't let this make me crazy with food. My 15 year old adopted daughter didn't come home last night or go to school this morning. I found out she went to her birth grandmothers this morning. She has anxiety, depression among other things and doesn't want to live with me and my husband even no she has it great. So people would even say she is spoiled. By putting this in writing it will probably calm me down. I don't plan to deviate from my goal. I just have to get out of my head and try to think positive, but its hard. I just want her to be happy, but I am at my wits end. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Thanks for listening.

Re: Stress Posted by PamT on 5/6/2018, 1:17 pm, in reply to "Stress" I don't know if there is any such thing as a happy 15 yr old. I had 3 and all of them from 14 on were kind of a nightmare. Angry, depressed, anxiety, slacking, endless angst. None of them liked me until they were about 19. Sometimes I'm still not sure if they do. But I do know that it was no reflection on the job I did as their mother, as I'm sure is the case with your daughter. I can't imagine your worry and feelings about what she did. I would have been out of my ever lovin' mind with worry! I'm impressed you didn't use this as an excuse to turn to food. What a positive step that is! I truly hope for your daughter that she works though these very tough emotions she is struggling with and that you can continue to be strong for her and for yourself. I endured 3 teenagers that ALL put me through things I still have nightmares about, and we all survived it. I really didn't think I would. We're here for you any time you need to vent.

Re: Stress Posted by Barbara on 5/6/2018, 9:04 pm, in reply to "Re: Stress" Thanks Pam. Today we had locked up the house so she couldn't come in when we weren't home but she broke in to get clothes etc. She said she doesn't want to live with us anymore and left after the police came. This is the short of the story.

My heart is breaking for you.... Posted by Me on 5/7/2018, 1:32 pm, in reply to "Re: Stress" with her being 15, can she just walk away? Make legal choices? (I put "legal choices," because we know teens don't make right choices) Prayers for you and her. I loved what Pam said too. That you didn't revert to food to comfort. The answers are not in food. You got through this so far... One day at a time. Anything we can do? Will keep your family covered in prayers. {Hugs}

Re: My heart is breaking for you.... Posted by Barbara on 5/7/2018, 8:56 pm, in reply to "My heart is breaking for you...." Hi Me. Talking on this board helps. I really wish we could all get together one day. We tried to get her back in the foster care system but it is a process and may not happen. She is now at her birt grandmothers but this won't last. My husband and my daughter can't live together.They can't get along. At least she spoke to me today. I just can't handle her anymore. I appreciate all the support. I have been drinking my water and in addition to my shakes have been turkey with salad which I did last week. I lost three pound last week.

Oh Barbara... Posted by Me on 5/8/2018, 12:59 pm, in reply to "Re: My heart is breaking for you...." Pam made a safe place, not only for "food" talk, but what our whole lives are caught up in. If we lived in a bubble, all this would be easier. Way to go on the three pound loss. It is 3 pounds that with what is stressing you these days, doesn't get to mess with. You are in such a hard and tough situation. At 15 she is a child, but.... We know, that these days, a 15 year old is going on 25. My grand daughters are 11 and almost 13. At that age, my sister and I were still playing Barbie. So, pile on the crap that your foster daughter has gone through makes it so much darker., So, I have no answers. I do have prayers for you for wisdom. And to be able to withstand those hard decisions. We already know how strong of a person you are. You signed up to be a Foster Mom. A Foster Home. God Bless you honey. {Hugs and Prayers}

Barbara... Posted by Me on 5/5/2018, 10:41 am, in reply to "Stress" Oh honey. They say the teen brain isn't fully developed. At times, I wondered if my teen even had a brain. You had to be scared out of your mind, then sooooo ticked when you knew she was ok. From the sounds of it "Adopted" and "Birth Grand Mother" are words that sound like the birth mother isn't in the picture. Being a teen girl in a "normal circumstances" are challenging, but add in the other stuff and it gets even more complicated. Some say "Spoiled" some might say "acting out" Regardless of what it is. The behavior is unacceptably. You sound like you are handling things with grace, discipline, and not feeding to sooth the problem. Good for you. You are doing great! Prayers for you and your family. Life is hard, but we will get through it. (Hugs)

Re: Barbara... Posted by Barbara on 5/5/2018, 4:10 pm, in reply to "Barbara..." Thanks I needed those hugs.

and ...I make mine Posted by Me on 5/6/2018, 10:31 am, in reply to "Re: Barbara..." Calorie Free!!!! {Hugs} {Hugs} {Hugs} {Hugs} {Hugs}

Catharsis Posted by Yvonne on 5/5/2018, 10:34 am, in reply to "Stress" Barbara: I have found that raising children is the most stress-inducing responsiblity that a human being has to do. I am not going to get into your family business, but I do know that these stressors are very difficult to handle without reverting back to a comfort situation, i.e., food. Teenagers will drive you crazy. I have raised two kids to adulthood and I know that my constant worry and being over-protective, along with the stresses at work made me eat like a machine. But, that was how I handled the situation. You have identified the problem and it doesn't have anything to do with food. It's the stress. I wish the best for you and your daughter. She doesn't know how good she has it until it's gone. Try to focus on yourself today, Barbara.

Catharsis Posted by Me on 5/5/2018, 10:46 am, in reply to "Catharsis" Had to go look that up...... Yvonne, you are soooooo right!!!! People that have kids and have no stress, their kids are covered in fur. Oh wait Mr. Dusty !!! Nope stress is part of our lives. Always....... You handled it like a champion Barbara... (Hugs)

Re: Stress Posted by MaryL on 5/5/2018, 4:17 am, in reply to "Stress" Hi Barbara. I hope you feel better and are less stressed now that you have vented a little. I sympathize. I remember the trials and tribulations of dealing with teenagers. It's not easy. Best Wishes

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