Hello fellow Batimore paruretic. Unlike you, I did experience bouts of parcopresis in my teenage years. I was so intimidated by buddies outside the
home, and wrestle with my body image in the home, that urinating and defecating
became a big deal, instead of a casual experience.

I put myself in rediculous cirmstances by volunteering for the Army, and later attending colleges away from home where I had limited privacy. The end result is that my anxiety symptoms were on a high level for long periods of
time. A couple visits to psychiatrists didn't change things because I mimimized my problems and impressed them with the idea that I was still functioning ok in most of my activities of daily living. No medication was prescribed for me in those days. I suspect the doctors were either not well informed about parcopresis and paruresis, or it didn't come up that often in their practices.

I commend you for taking the time to explain the possible ways to bring on
urination or bowel moments. I tried the finger insert, or used the enema a few times in my life and felt "guilty," in doing so. I had religious scruples and thought I was acting "sinfully". I didn't know of anyone who had these problems, so I concluded I was "cursed" in such a way that I should kill myself, or accept the fact that I was a "freak" in a world where others were
more "normal" than myself.

Fortunately, once I had access to private bathrooms, improved my eating and drinking habits, and got married and engaged in more pleasurable body functions involving sex and intimacy, my "phobias" became more manageable.

However, keeping the "secrets" was still uppermost in my mind. People I should have told had either died or moved away. It wasn't until the Baltimore workshop dealing with my paruresis that I got the nerve to tell my wife of forty years about my problems with urination----though she essentially knew the story from the way I lived at home, wanting my private time in the bathroom.

However, telling her about my fight with parcopresis is another matter. Once I figure out if I can implement the "gradual exposure" technique with another
understanding parcopretic man and see progress, then I'll feel the confidence
to tell her and any other pertinent persons.

My goal is to help others out of the "hell-hole" of paruresis and parcopresis. And I see your message(s) reflecting the same desire. Since the Baltimore workshop, just under a week ago, my level of expectation has shot up tremendously. I'm like you with overcoming the paruesis. I'm "racing" to the
public bathrooms to challenge myself to piss in the presence of other men----
an inconceivable thought for decades of my life! From hencefore I will work
on both of my phobias. I don't want to leave this earth with any regrets. When I face my God in heaven I want to be able to say that His love, as expressed through the love and compassion of other recovering paruretics and parcopretics, made a tremendous difference in my life. They were "gifts."

Thanks again for your in depth messages. Though I barely spoke to you at the
Baltimore workshop, I'm learning so much about you now. Keep up the good work.

Marty G