Yeah thanks baz, I've used those before, but you have to be careful not to over use them. I guess for emergency type situation it would be fine. I can just imagine what my kids will say when they find it..ha ha.

I'm just frustrated that it all came back so quickly and with a vengeance. I feel my phobia is a learned behavior, like my body just reacts automatically to the mere thought of having a BM no matter where. I realize then though that any "learned" behavior can be "unlearned" with hard work.

I'm going to try meditative self talk while physically relaxing. I like Mathman's idea of sitting on the toilet whether you go or not and making yourself comfortable there and trying to simply relax. I've done this before and apparently I need a refresher course

So weird how difficulties come and go out of ones life.

Thanks for the support.