I have suffered from IBS-D for about 7 years and over that time it started affecting me mentally more and more. At first I didn't think that much of it - sure, I was going to the toilet about 3 times a day and having the most uncomfortable experience, but it was usually at home so it didn't bother me. A few times I had the unbearable stomach pains in school but just waited till the class was finished and ran home. It didn't even occur to me that what I ate was what was causing my IBS and it was a few years before it occurred to me to change my diet for the better.

About 5 years ago I was probably at my worst. I would hardly leave the house except to go to school and it was always because I was scared of getting an upset stomach. It wasn't as if I was in a situation where I wouldn't be able to find a public toilet, it was just the fear of actually having to go and have (usually) Diarrhea which filled me with shame. 4 years ago I changed my diet radically and my symptoms improved but only in the sense that I now didn't have to urgently go as much and I could judge by my bowel movement the liklihood of needing to go again that day, which made it easier for me to leave the house. I still would never have gone to a public toilet unless it was an emergency, but at least I was able to start living my life again.

The past few years I've been quite bad again. I feel like my life is ruled by my access to a toilet. If I go out anywhere I have to take my car so I can come home if I need to. I don't make plans with people because I always seem to back out of them and never commit to anything. I've been diagnosed with having agoraphobia, but really all it comes down to is a fear of having to go to the toilet where I wont have any privacy and the chance that someone I know will have to go in after me *god it's so embarrassing even thinking about it*

I had a horrific experience which I think triggered all this off. I was at a friends house and there were lots of people there. I had been eating terribly and drinking lots of coke (sets me off) and had the worst cramps in my stomach. Looking back, I don't know why I just didn't make a mad dash home but I decided to go to the toilet there (only one in the house). I was in for a while, although no-one saw me go in or come out but a minute or 2 after I came out there was a big fuss about who had been in the toilet because it was very smelly! (i'm so embarrassed writing this) Thankfully I managed to bluff my way out of it being me, I'll never know how I managed it but the experience definitely changed me!

Reading over some of the posts here, I'm not affected in the same way as other people. I don't feel the need to undress when going to the toilet, and I'm not as fussy with my family knowing about me going. I guess because they know I've got IBS and the fact we have 2 bathrooms helps. I don't feel any shame in them knowing I'm not well or need to go to the toilet.

I can see this affecting me in so many ways in the future. I'm a student and have never had a job because I couldnt imagine having to use the toilets if I was working a long shift. Once I graduate I'm terrified of the type of job I'd have, where I might need to share toilets with other people! It feels so silly saying it out loud (well, typing ) but it's all very real to me.

Thanks for listening.