Today, again, I had to leave work because I couldn't use the bathroom there. I've read some of the postings, and yes, sitting there, trying, begging God to let me go and I just can't. I'm usually able to hold it till the end of the work day, but today I couldn't so I had to leave immediately. And this is how I found this website... desperate for a "cure" to a problem I have never been able to tell anyone I have... nor even knew was a problem for others.
This must have started a few years ago and has progressively gotten worse. I recall being at a baseball game with some friends a year ago and needing to go. I figured I was going to have to leave the game until I found a lone port-a-potty and was actually able to go there. I was so proud of myself for being able to go in "public." For a brief day I thought I was cured. But it was one of the few times I've been able to go outside my home in over two years. Sounds weird, being proud of myself for using a public restroom, but I really was.
Last weekend I was sitting around with some friends at one of their houses, when one friend started making fun of another for "stinking up the bathroom" the previous evening. Everyone laughed, noone was embarassed. I was so envious of her.
I am so glad to know there are others out there who understand. It's a horrible thing to suffer from and I want so desperately to get over it. Thanks for listening.