Hello all, i have been googling 'shy toilet and relationships' could not find anything at all on what i was looking for. Im 27 y.o of toddler son, i have a secret phobia of a torn life between living with a man eventually and wanting to be single so i can go poo normally...it seems like it doesnt mix.
then i came across this thread and read a lady's thread and almost cried with compassion for her and relief for myself that i was completely normal and all the other people's feelings about this phenomena.
I am so grateful for all of you putting your most private and difficult stories out here for all to share.
This has been a cause of angst for me because i eventually have to start relationship with a man which i find scary because i eventually have to use the bathroom properly not just alittle bit.!! I just prefer to live on my own.
I found this phobia out some 12 mths ago but i could have had it longer.
My second 'attempted' boyfriend i have i still have this problem, just last week i was very backed up and lost my appetite for all food and was completely fibered out!
I don't like him staying over because the first thing i think of is me taking a sh*&.. Like com'on is that normal? thinking about pooing first and foremost is a bit queer. You would think i would want him to stay the night.

I really think at a subconscious level the desire (for control) to withhold the bowels and peristalsis(intestinal movement) gets control over the experience that we do not want to go through because of the fear about 'letting go' usually when someone is around.... that person acts as a threat to the emotional state of the person feeling the need to relax to open the bowels.

Pooing is a relaxed state that God wanted for us. He gave us the pleasure of Pooing because it is a nice experience. But along the way We got lost or upset and began to control our habits through upbringing or trauma in life, that affected how we see ourselves doing something so natural as Pooing.
Ask God for answers and healing to your despair and ask Him for Peace, Confidence, Relaxed Healthy Tummy and Praise Him that He made you the same as He and me, that we all have a bottom and the fundamental need to do what is a pleasurable thing to do. Ask for Shame to leave and Guilt to go because there is nothing dirty about pooing.
There is nothing the Mind can do to get around it because it is a spiritual problem here i believe. I myself will ask God for help so i can lead a normal life and not obsess about my next BM.
P.s i also think about celebrities pooing, like Hollywood stars on the toilet with IBS. That's a real fire cracker!! Prime Ministers all over the world, talk show hosts, the list goes on.