thanks for your advice. only the thing is that i wouldn't be able to eat anything over the entire weekend, as when i'm stressed anything can upset my stomach..so i'd be worrying over getting diarr...(however you spell it, too lazy to check :-))
but you're right, if i see them for a couple of hours every few months then that is well enough, so really i don't want to go anyway and spend so much time with them, and be sort of dependent on them for that time (even if i didn't have the 'going' problem).

my problem is really just how i get out of it without being impolite and saying 'i don't actually want to visit you'..since i already said yeah we'll have to do that (one day)..

Emily