Hi, I visited this site for the first time yesterday after a long search on the internet to see if I really was the only nutter who desperately needs the toilet but can't go anywhere except their own house. Low and behold there are loads of people like me!!!! (to be honest I cried with releif). I have had this problem for most of my life (i'm nearly 30) and luckily it hasn't affected my relationship with my husband. He thinks i'm crazy but will get out of the vicinity if I ask.

Things were really bad this week when I needed to go so desperately at work one day and just couldn't - I tried all morning without of course wanting to raise suspicion with my co-workers (went about 6 times). It's crazy as the toilets at my work are really quite private. I felt so ill that at lunch time I had to get the train home, go to the toilet and get the train back. This is an hour and a half round trip and is not always possible depending on what's in my diary on a given day. I felt really ill the rest of the day anyway. Must be the toxins. I told my husband and family who think i'm mad.

I'm so jealous of people who can just go, but then maybe they have other issues that I don't. I'm not sure how it started but probably deep down I think that doing a #2 is dirty even although logically I know it is totally natural. I just really hate anyone other than my husband knowing i'm doing a #2. I don't know if it will help but I've got in touch with a clinical hypnotherapist and am going to try it out. I'll let you know how I get on.

Thanks very much to everyone who has posted messages etc as it really does make me feel better to know I am not the only one, even if I am still living with the problem.

Take Care
Susan
xxx