I don't think he's abusive. I do think he's all about anal "sports" and does not yet know your need for anal privacy and your anal issues. Once you reveal these things to him (and, of course, you must), you might find youself the brunt of his jokes. Harmless as he might find them, you still will need to get out. Start saving now! No man who regards you as his queen will mis-abuse you or mis-use your confidential information.

Sorry sweety, but he really sounds like the type who might be too immature to handle your issues.