i suppose there is only one good chance at having a good bm that leaves you feeling good for the day... that is the whole goal supposedly.. if that goal is not reached by obstacles in the way then we may have some fears or problems emerging. such as social situations, private situations in relationship stay overs, travelling and sleeping over. Do we get that chance to go to the toilet in a relaxed manner and result well.?
alot of these problems are manifested by the imagination of projection in a sense of an "imagined threat", a thought that disrupts our daily lives that we tend to hold on to the thought of that feared BM! certainly it is real to us when it happens, that those anxieties creep up on us by inner imaginings of unsafety or shyness.
instead of living your senses through your mind, look at the reality of where you are and what is happening in the Present Moment!
for example,your invited to sleep over lovers/family/friends place, the first thing you think of is "what about the morning when i need the toilet?" this is an imagined threat that has NOT happened yet but you anticipate that experience by the loop of fear and angst. instead of saying no, say yes to the stay over. keep a clear mind of enjoying the stay over, even tell the mind to shut up over its bm, "im having a good time tonight and there will ALWAYS be another poop on the way... dont worry about it, honestly.You wake up and you may still fear the impendingness of it all, yet keep that inner space for YOU and your sanity, and know if and when bm comes you will be there accepting what IS and always will Be a natural state of function without inner judgement, without self consciousness, without shame , without fear because this is what God designed for us to use. embrace your fears for fear is the opposite of love and you must love what your body does best.
Its basically stepping out of the confines of the mind and knowing ultimate reality is a poop on the toilet in a real and relaxed manner of self acceptance and who gives a bloody crap what you are doing on the toilet anyway!
Having said that about the inner processes of mind and what is really happening in reality in the present moment you will find nothing exists no problem exists in the Present moment but a poop wanting to come or not to come and both are Ok.
i find now i can give water salt enemas to myself instead of laxatives since they can become addictive.
salt water small enemas with tepid water, any warmer will burn bottom, hold on to about 100-150 mls of water and the pressure will build up in the rectum but do not relax to pass wind, since you will lose the water content, take it to the loo and its the fastest result ever!
i find water enema a second chance effect to allow myself space of stress free feeling about not going for bm since i can always have an enema for result.
what i post here is not to preach but this is what im personally learning and experiencing and it really puts the mind to rest and perceptions in place for normality. best wishes to all