Thanks for responding baz, didnt mean to put this in someone else's thread, not sure that happened, i can move it if u prefer.

wow, I never heard of that disorder, but it does sort of soundlike what I am experiencing... lockup's are not 100 pct gone when no one is around, but they don't happen nearly as frequently... I mean, we are talking extraordinary difficulty so maybe its not just an issue of shyness, However when I had my own bathroom at school I don't recall even one prolonged incident over a 4 year span... thank you for the advice though, i'll defenetly look into it

as for how i found this place.... after a long while of trying key words like ' shy colon' and 'shy bowel' I, for some reason typed in 'shy pooper' and got the name of a user on this message board... so if you are reading this shy.. thanks!