thanks for your reply. so... my suggestions:
firstly, the shy bladder doesn't sound like its going to intefere with your holiday as you said its only in public restrooms you get lock up. nonetheless, if you were interested in doing some work on it, there's a very good book by steve soifer called Shy Bladder Syndrome: Your step by step guide to Recovery. Steve also runs the very good support site: the IPA (international paruresis association) and runs excellent desense workshops which are focused on rapid recovery. (i'm assuming you're based in the states, right?)
Re: the shy bowel:
you said you're too embarrassed to tell her about it. in my experience (with both shy bladder and shy bowel) this is the place to start. you need to ask yourself what is it that makes you feel so embarrassed about talking about it to a loved one? especially when its affecting your relationship with them. what do you fear would happen if you told her about it?
and also how identified are you with shy bowel? at the end of the day its a condition (a bit like diabetes or epilepsy). you didn't choose to have it, and at this stage you have no control over it - so its something you have; it doesn't define you as a person.
finally, if you love your girlfriend and she loves you, you could think of it as an exercise in trust: you're opening up a vulnerable part of yourself to her. and that usually engenders a deeper trust of the other person in you.
a few caveats:
don't talk to her when either of you have had a drink: do it when you're stone, cold sober.
include some anecdotes that relate to how its affected your behaviour with her (so she starts to get the idea).
don't worry if she finds it strange or funny at first, she'll start to understand the more you talk about it; your main aim is to get it through to her how much this damn thing is affecting your relationship with her (holidays, moving in together etc).
don't repress yourself if you feel your emotions coming up when you talk about how the condition has affected you. Shy Bowel - especially in people who've had it a long time brings with it a grief element: and that can come out when you start talking. don't worry if it does, it'll help get across the problems you've had to deal with.
feel the fear and tell her anyway.
hope this is of some help; come back to me with any questions or responses/reactions you have.
I dont know how I have done it all my life. I feel cursed. Not only cant I poop when I want. I cant pee either in public restrooms. Anyway, as far as pooping, I remember we were over my parents friends house and i went to the bathroom. I remember my dad walking by after I went and and making a comment in front of his friend about the smell. His friend said "When you gotta go, you gotta go". I was embarassed. Maybe that is where it started, not sure. All I can say is that it has limited my life and relationships. I have made excuses for not going on vacations and traveling. I have a girlfriend of 2yrs now and she wants move in. I just cant do it. She doesnt have a clue why. She stays over most nights. I get up at 4am, have my coffee (whichs helps me go). Then around 5:30 or so, I get her up and send her home while I tell her I am gonna take a shower. She works retail and sometimes goes in late or is off during the week and yet I send her on her way at 5:30am. I am sure she thinks I am an idiot. I am just too embarassed to tell her.