i went to see a free "counselor" at school, and while many of the counselors are registered psychiatrists, there are many interns with limited medical knowledge. when i talked to her about my problem, over multiple sessions, i realized she had no clue what i was talking about. she just did not understand how i was not able to go if it was not a physical problem. that terrified me. because it made me think that maybe my problem is far rarer then i thought.
but this site changed my mind. now i at least have a name for the shit i have to deal with. and it is an insanely big relief to know others deal with the exact same issue. and feel exactly the same. it's taking over my life and this problem has to stop. knowing that there is simply a term for this problem, makes me feel incredibly hopeful.