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Re: What is "the urge"
I don't know if I'm getting this right, but there are two anal sphincters really. One that is controlled by the autonomous nervous system (internal), and one that you control consciously (external). When it's right there at the end, and the internal sphincter is relaxed, and I have to consciously hold it back, for me that's the 'urge'. Ideally I would go to the toilet when this happens, and consciously relax my buttock, and let it out. That's what normal people do, I think. In contrast, for me it's like this: I'm going about my daily business, suddenly I feel an urge. By the time I get to the toilet, the internal sphincter locks up, and it doesn't matter if I relax or not, it just won't come out. The urge is gone. Sometimes, if I'm really relaxed, I can push it a little, then it somehow triggers some reflexes, and things start to flow, but sometimes no matter how hard I try, I just can't go even though I feel it's there. And it is so annoying.