Just wanted to introduce myself!

I am so glad to find this site! I only, literally just a few weeks ago, found out what parcopresis is, by doing a web search for "shy bowel" or some such. I am very relieved to find others that have the same issue! The internet is an amazing place!!

Background on me: I'm 45 and male. I have had parcopresis since about 1980 or 1981. I remember being at the babysitters then, once, in the toilet which was right off the kitchen and living room, with her and the other kids right outside in the kitchen at the kitchen table, and me trying to go #2 and not being able to. I recall i was in there for a very long time, and she handed me a roll of toilet paper; I dont' even think I fully went and just gave up. Before (and even after) then, for many years, I could go #2 at home with my bro and mom there but only if I took all my clothes off. Now, as an adult, I cannot poop unless at home (I live alone) and I know or believe all my neighbors are in their living rooms and not close to their bathrooms, while I go. I needs TONS of privacy around me when I go, and the best I get at home is being in my bathroom surround by THEM and their bathrooms and apartments. I cannot have ANYONE knowing that I am going #2, ESPECIALLY people I know; that is a total no-no, as I am afraid they will make some kind of poop joke, which would only make me more self conscious and nervous and entirely prevent me being able to evacuate my bowels.

I am under a deep and terrorizing fear of someday having to go VERY badly and not having any private (for long enough) bathroom that I can poop in. And I know that time will come, as it does for everyone, unless they live alone 24/7 on some rural farm somewhere! (My dream, by the way, for that reason!)

When I am in the actual act of evacuating, the stimulation of everything surrounding the act freaks me out and I will often shake my fists and go "ARRRGHHH" in a quiet whispered way. I believe that is partly due to the fact that I might have high functioning autism/Aspergers. In fact, I believe a large part of even why i HAVE parcopresis is because of that, and related strongly to it.

I am coming here to commiserate, sound off, get help and advice, and everything else that comes along with such a community. You just have no idea how HAPPY i am to find it!

I have heard CBT therapy is a big help for MANY mental disorders including anxiety-related disorders like this, and I hope to start such therapy soon, if I can find a therapist nearby that does it who also takes my insurance!

Thanks so much for reading everyone! Good to meet you all!

This condition really affects my life because I am under deep & terrorizing fear because I know someday, I will be stuck in a position where I can't esca