Let me check http://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk
Using last year's income, I make about...wait...should I mention how much I make? That's frowned upon. I'm sure I already did, though. Well, it's a new start.
Yeah, I don't know. Add another £400 to that...would I notice? What's 400 times 12? £4800. Yeah, that's significant. But when you look at it monthly, it doesn't really dazzle me. Maybe because even when my pay is £1000 more or a £1000 less than usual, I don't care.
I just throw it in the pile, though. But if you were making...say...£15,000 a year (as I was at most of my jobs right up until the current one) that's...£1100 a month after taxes. So not really enough to rent a place of your own in London. Although...I did. I paid £540/month or something. But they say you should only pay 1/3 of your salary on rent. Maybe that's before taxes. But still, that's cutting it close. Well, I was indeed cutting it close. I had to stop going out because I couldn't afford it.
So add £400 to that...why am I still using the calculator? £1500. So yeah, you could get a tiny rat-infested place in London for that fairly comfortably.
And you're not in London. So what's the property like in there? I always enjoy checking this sort of thing out. The provincial craziness you come across. Like that guy who was looking for a "lad" to practice wrestling with. I don't even know if it was a sexual thing. I like to think so because that's the only way it makes any sense.
People are selling children's clothes. Not in lots, mind you. Individual outfits. £4 to £5 each. I get the feeling that this is an attempt to make money four pounds at a time. Hardly seems worth it.
But whatever, housing is what I'm here for. Yeah, well...£400 to £500. Some for less than that but they look questionable. Might be one of those "rent reduction in exchange for wrestling" things.
A lot of cheap static caravan stuff. Like £200 and shit. Six people maximum they state in big letters. No same sex parties either. Can they do that? Flagrant flouting of the law.
Anyway, if you're making £1500/month you can get your own place. And the ladies will come a'knockin'. Maybe not but it would be way less awkward than having a girlfriend while living with one's parents. I don't just mean the sexual element but the whole discussions about this woman and whatnot.
So what else is for sale there...or services. Oh, this is sad. I don't mean in the "pathetic" sense, I mean it's genuinely depressing. Carl is a dog watcher and he's been doing it for eight years. He has pictures of his (surprisingly nice) flat and one showing off his big sexy muscles. He'll give your dog medication, help it lose weight, or just cuddle it. Whatever your dog needs, he'll do it. It's kind of creepy as well. He charges £15 but I don't know what that means.
Let's try "community". Raw fleeces for £5. I don't even know what that means. There's a picture of a lamb. Are they giving you a pile of wool?
Male dancer partner wanted by some 50 year old woman. That's nice but is she going to find anyone? Has to be 45 to 60 years old. Upon further thought, it kind of seems like a date ad.
A 20 year old female wants a travel buddy to the US. Oh baby. Doesn't mention any preferred gender or age range.
Here's a total crazy person saying that he's "ex military" and investigating UFO and cattle mutilation phenomena. He wants you to email him but not with great detail because that's a security risk. Instead, he'll meet you at a coffee shop and record the conversation. Not entirely sure what he plans on doing with this information.
Bunch of ghost hunt ads. Maybe written by the same lunatic.
Here's a guy looking for a Spanish speaker. Describes his location as "backwater". He also mentions that he's 33 and has a "partner" and a child. Why...I wouldn't respond to that ad. Maybe he mentions because he's NOT looking for a girlfriend and wants to make that clear but it still looks creepy.
A guy looking to coach a football team. Does it work like that? And it's adults that he's looking for. Weird.
Well, there are quite a few ads here looking for teams that need an extra player. Maybe it's the same. After all, that coach didn't mention anything about renumeration. Maybe these amateur teams have coaches, I don't know.
Anyway, it's all pretty disturbing. But I guess £400/month is significant. Still a deplorable place of business, though.
I'm off to email that UFO guy. He's ex-military so you can trust him with your information.