I don't understand drunk posting. I was considering trying it out over the Easter holidays but...I just can't do it. I mean, the effort required to brush teeth, shave, put shoes on, walk all the way to the off licence, et cetera.

Then I have to figure out what to buy. I don't know. I see people buying wine. It seems odd to me. And I don't get drunk from a bottle of wine. So do I get beer? Do they sell them by the six pack here? I've seem in four packs and individual cans.

But the biggest deterrent is what's the pay off? Let's say I get fall over drunk from these four beers. Who cares? Is this fun? And I come to TIY -- TMB and write "Frances". That's dumb. And I can do that now, sober.

So it just seems like a waste of money to me. I can see getting drunk with somebody else. There's a potential for alcohol-fueled fun there. But not alone to fuel inspiration for crap posts on pink message boards.

Made some fajitas today instead. And I was thinking, "Man, I hope I have enough tin foil to make all these hobo packs for reheating". But then it dawned on me: hobo packs not required. I have a microwave now.

This electric stovetop works fine as well. I had an electric stovetop before and...I don't know...it's okay. It works. I don't know if it's any better or worse than gas ones. I suppose you get more even results since you can more easily control the temperature with electric ones. With gas, you have to adjust the flame and it's...you know...you move that dial just a tiny bit and it changes dramatically. With the electric ones, you just set it to "3" and it's a medium heat.

What else? Bought some American candy from a shop in Ayr recently. A stick of Laffy Taffy, a box of Warheads sour jelly beans, and a box of Gobstoppers. £5 for that. It's way, way more than what you'd pay in the US but seems about what you'd pay in this import candy shop that I sometimes went to in London, if not less.

They also had a big pick and mix selection of old time Scottish candy and a bunch of stuff behind the counter. I considered it but nothing really appealed.

Anyway, start with the Laffy Taffy. It was in stick form. Like a foot long stick. It wasn't good. Was some weird "crazy" flavour that the kids today must like. And worst of all, no jokes.

The Laffy Taffy of my youth was so-called because they came in Starburst-sized pieces with lame jokes on the wrapper. How can you have Laffy Taffy without the comedy? It's right there in the name.

I have similar complaints with Bazooka Joe sold in formats that don't allow lame comic strips in the wrapper but at least the comics aren't integral to the product's name. Laffy Taffy suggests comedy. Without the jokes, it's just taffy. And not good taffy.

The Warheads were also disappointing. The original Warheads were crazy, painfully sour hard candy. These are just jellybeans which, in fairness, on the package it indicates that it's at the second to bottom of the "sour meter". Higher than "tart" but below "super sour" and "extreme".

So yeah, they're merely sour. They taste fine. But the packaging is crap. It's a big ass box so I expected a lot of candy. But you open it up and it's in a bag. So...you get way less than you expected.

Candy was never in a box and then in a bag when I was a kid. Why would it be? The box is the container. Why then put it in a bag inside of a box? Well, I guess it's to keep it fresh. Hard candies don't need a bag but maybe jellybeans benefit. Still. I'm disappointed.

Finally, the Gobstoppers. What a massive let down this was. In my youth, Gobstoppers were the most extreme candy you can get. They were big balls (LOL!) of hard candy that lasted for quite some time. So you had to commit. Set aside time to finish this candy because literally, it would probably take a good 20 to 30 minutes to finish one of these things. And if you tried to bite into these things at too early a stage, you risked breaking your teeth.

Now they're tiny and you can safely eat one in two minutes. I can only assume that kids were choking to death. But kids are choking to death on all kinds of food.

Checked the internet, and as far back as 2003, people were complaining about smaller Gobstoppers. And in that thread, somebody says that they made them smaller years ago. Oh, and that's right. There used to be individually-wrapped ones that were like the size of...a golf ball, I'd say. I never got those. But they also sold "mini Gobstoppers" in the boxes. That's what I got. But those were like twice the size of the current product.

Let's check out Tinder. Exchanged a few messages with a 22 year old Chinese woman in China but only to ask her what the point of this is and talking about her Confucian reverence to her elders.

And matched with a 26 year old black woman. Soon to be lawyer. Whatever that means. Well, I know what it means. "Unemployed".

Also matched with a depressed-looking chubby 19 year old. She looks miserable in every picture except the last one where she's with who I assume is her mother. And she looks the most overweight in that one. And that's the only one that isn't a selfie so I assume that the rest of these are taken at angles to minimise the largeness.

Not sure if I'll message either of these women. I might. I might not.