Andrew Neil's hair:
ANDREW NEIL’S HAIR TO STEP DOWN
Andrew Neil’s hair has announced that it is stepping down after many years of providing coverage.
“It’s been interesting.”, confessed the hair, “But it is high maintenance and I find it difficult being recognised all the time; only this morning someone tried to use me as shredded wheat.”
When asked if he was going to take the opportunity to change opinions from Mr Neil’s “robust” views, the hair explained, “When you’ve been sprayed with hairspray everyday for 40 years, you’d find it difficult to change.”
Producers of This Week have considered offering the job of Andrew Neil’s hair to Michael Portillo’s trousers, which might draw less attention to the top of his head