But its not fuzzy at all: that's the point. there are only two functional outcomes: male or female. There is no "third way".
-I don't think the fault is yours: Its not that you are "badly repeating" current thinking but that you are merely repeating "badly thought" current thinking in which people conflate objective biological sex with something subjective that they (In my view mistakenly) term gender then try to search for a sexual biological source for that quite subjective element.
Looking at the links between "gender dysphoria" and autism would I reckon be far more productive.