https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/israel-says-it-unintentionally-precision
It has accidentally murdered 196 aid workers since October 7th
Laura K
Apr 02, 2024

The IDF has confirmed it accidentally killed seven World Central Kitchen workers after tracking their clearly marked vehicles whose movements the WCK notified them of and who were travelling 2.4km apart.

I understand the IDF unintentionally ordered the bombing of the first vehicle, but the occupants survived the drone strike with injuries and were rescued by the second vehicle which was also unintentionally bombed. Somehow, there were still survivors who were rescued by the third vehicle, but this was also unintentionally bombed, finishing off all seven aid workers before they could be taken for medical treatment in the remains of a hospital that was also unintentionally bombed.

Reassuringly, the IDF has already carried out a fair and impartial investigation and discovered it is totally innocent and Al Jazeera has been lying to make Israel look bad. It has therefore scheduled unintentional precision strikes against Al Jazeera journalists for tomorrow morning.

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Despite Israel accepting responsibility for the deaths, the BBC feels there is some ambiguity so it will be reporting on the matter in a passive voice. Obviously, the IDF never targets civilians, apart from the time it executed surgeons at Al Shifa hospital for refusing to abandon their patients and all the times it has targeted civilians queuing for food and all the other times I can’t be bothered to list.

The IDF explained a vehicle suspected to contain a Hamas combatant had driven in the area at some point in the last few years so this gave them the right to destroy any vehicle in the area. Only the world’s most moral army could confidently make such a judgement call and get away with it.

I understand the WCK logos on the roofs of the vehicles were mistaken for targets and the drone pilot feared the occupants could’ve been about to commit war crimes - those war crimes being feeding starving people. There is a 50% chance the drone pilot was female and what matters is Israel has girl bosses in its military, which is why it’s better than Hamas.

Sadly, three Brits were among those killed in the precision strikes that accidentally penetrated the WCK logos on the roofs of the vehicles, although I’m unclear if we’re calling the victims human shields or terrorists. Either way, the British government has apologised that our citizens were involved in feeding Palestinians and confirmed this won’t happen again. Given you can be fined for feeding pigeons in the UK, feeding humans is totally unacceptable.

The world’s most moral army has confirmed any future precision strikes against humanitarian aid workers who are coordinating their movements with the IDF and travelling in marked vehicles will definitely be unintentional, unless those people are spotted handing out food, in which case the drone pilot will be posting the video to TikTok and gloating about what they’ve done.

I understand aid ships are now turning away from Gaza because they’ve decided it’s just too risky to deliver food supplies. This was absolutely not the intention of the IDF, and they’re not even sure how the famine in Gaza started, but they can’t guarantee that any vehicles delivering aid won’t randomly explode.

As exploding aid vehicles are always unfortunate accidents, I can confirm Israel is not breaking international humanitarian law, even though the British government’s own lawyers say they are breaking international humanitarian law and the government is refusing to publish their legal advice. Thankfully, the opposition agrees Israel is not breaking intentional humanitarian law and therefore both parties are comfortable continuing lucrative arms sales because Israel is an important ally