https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/king-charles-did-not-invite-harry
It would have been inappropriate to invite James Hewitt's son
Laura
May 09, 2024

King Charles has explained he did not invite Prince Harry to his garden party because it was family-only and he did not think it appropriate to invite James Hewitt's son along. The king explained he does not have much time left and he wants to spend that time with his loved ones. He certainly doesn’t want to waste his final years pretending to be someone else’s dad, especially when he is mourning the loss of his mother and her beloved cousin who was also his dad.

Charles’ family-only garden party was a private affair, attended by 5,000 people, most of who he’d never met, and this is why there was no room for the ginger. Instead, Harry attended the tenth anniversary Invictus ceremony with the only family he is allowed a relationship with - the ones on the side of his mother who was killed for dating an, um, never mind.

The Invictus Games were set up to celebrate military veterans, just not veterans like Harry, ones who went on the battlefield and risked their lives for the empire, rather than ones who were pretending to be useful.

When Harry was back home, he got in trouble doing stupid things like dressing up as a Nazi, leaving conspiracy theorists to think he might be a royal after all, given Prince Philip also spent his youth dressing up as a Nazi. However, the royal family never bothered with a DNA test for Harry and James because their faces are identical and we all know what Diana was getting up to when Charles inexplicably chose Camilla.

A royal spokesperson explained: “It was embarrassing enough when Harry came out ginger, but when he married a bl… I mean American woman, that was the final straw. Thank god he wasn’t the first born!”

Harry has understandably been a royal outcast since he made the woke decision of not marrying someone he is genetically-related to. The royal family haven’t had extended contact with bl… I mean American people since Queen Elizabeth made that awkward comedy video with the Obamas. They vowed never to do anything that embarrassing again, which is why next time, they did a video with an imaginary bear.

One of the most embarrassing things about Harry’s marriage to what’s-her-face is that he chose a wife with talent and a nice smile who succeeded on her own. This made Britain’s longest running benefits recipients feel uncomfortable. Royal wives are supposed to be born into privilege and be capable only of nodding and waving at a camera several times a year. A smile is considered an added bonus rather than compulsory, due to the difficulty most royals have with smiling. Anyone who has witnessed the quality of British dentistry understands.

Among the attendees of the Invictus ceremony was Gladiator director Ridley Scott who suggested Harry be given a chance to earn his way back into the royal fold by battling tigers with a spear at Wembley Stadium, but this idea was scrapped due to concerns a tiger might get poked in the eye with the spear before devouring him. The last thing the royals need is the RSPCA on their backs when they're still trying to keep Andrew out of an American prison