Clio the cat, ? July 1997 - 1 May 2016
on June 28, 2024, 7:16 pm
This one set a new record for awfulness
Jun 28, 2024
The two men who want to lead the country through the second half of this trainwreck of a decade have just had a televised debate. Two hugely unpopular candidates who are funded by corporations and the war machine have completely failed to spell out a vision for the future that is even tolerable let alone hopeful, and already you’ve no idea if I’m talking about the US or UK so let me help you out here.
I’m talking about the debate between two utter bastards who support genocide and nuclear brinksmanship. Still not clear? Okay, two pathological liars who’ve broken just about every promise they’ve ever made. Still not there? Um, two idiots who were utterly incapable of uttering anything intelligible about how to improve the country as protesters screamed outside about how fucking awful they are. Still none the wiser?
Okay, this time I’m actually talking about the US debate which came right after the UK debate which was also dreadful.
As dreadful as the UK debate was, it was basically two out of touch fools boring everyone to death, each insisting they were more boring than the other, until it ended in a nil-nil draw, despite both doing their best to score own goals. The US debate was somehow worse.
The US and UK really are the two most embarrassing nations on earth, as well as the two most dangerous, but honestly, I’m bored of talking about how much I hate the British candidates so let’s talk about how much I hate the US candidates!
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The US debate was basically the worst president ever versus the worst president ever, and surprisingly, neither candidate performed very well. Both men were determined to prosecute the other over January 6th. Both babbled about whether women should have bodily autonomy because the bar is so low that basic human rights are up for debate. Both ranted about the border instead of highlighting that immigration concerns would evaporate the moment one of them stood up to the 1% and ended worker exploitation. And both, honestly I can’t be bothered to say more…
Was anyone paying attention to this crap? It was like listening to a row in a retirement home between two old men who think it’s still 1945, and now the nurses are thankfully coming to sedate them. Only no one is coming to sedate them…
Ordinarily, Donald Trump would be the central focus of anything involving Donald Trump because he gives us so much ammunition, but Joe Biden unquestionably stole the show last night, although this was completely unintentional and for all the wrong reasons.
Hilariously, Biden wanted the debate (the earliest presidential debate ever) because he was trailing Trump in the polls and thought he could win over floating voters with his sharp mind. Surely, he has now fallen even further behind the weakest opponent he could ever wish to debate. There used to be a joke that to win a debate against Trump all you have to do is let him talk. Well, all Trump had to do was stand back and let Biden dribble.
According to the New York Times, Trump lied 26 times, but it would not matter if he’d lied 1,000 times because at least he has his faculties intact and appeals to his base. Biden, on the other hand, left his base crying in despair. Why was Biden even the candidate in the first place? It’s not like he was popular among the American public. All Trump had to do was tone down the drunk uncle thing just enough to appear 1% less awful than usual and that’s exactly what he did. All the MAGA hat wearers were beaming with pride. Everyone else was smashing their head against the table.
Sky News described Biden’s performance at the debate as the “worst in presidential history” and this sentiment was echoed by just about everyone. Former Democrat aides agreed. Democrat voters agreed. Everyone agreed, apart from the bots on social media who’ve been programmed to say Biden was brilliant! We’re now at the point where the easiest way to identify a bot is to see if it’s saying nice things about Biden. I refuse to believe any human is doing this. If you are, please seek help.
Biden tried to pretend his cognitive decline was a cold actually, and at one point he announced “We beat Medicare!” as though he was expecting applause, but no one knew what he meant. Someone described Biden as having long, pregnant pauses during the debate. Why can’t we just say senile pauses? That’s what they were. Why is accurately describing the situation offensive to old people, but inaccurately describing it not offensive towards pregnant women? If I were a pregnant woman, the last person I’d want to be compared to is Joe fucking Biden. That is a hate crime.
One hilarious moment came when the penny finally dropped at MSNBC and they realised just how awful their guy was four years behind everyone else. “Is it too late to replace him?” they asked. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a question asked by so many people in one night. If the Democrats did replace Biden, the question is who would they replace him with? I mean I can’t think of anyone w… Oh god, they’re gonna bring back Hillary Clinton, aren’t they?
MSNBC and other propaganda networks have been telling us for four years Biden is not senile actually and anyone who says otherwise is spreading “fake news”. I even got censored on Mastodon for pointing out the man with his finger on the nuclear button is senile because that was “ageist” apparently, but now suddenly, they’re all like, “Oh, it turns out our guy is senile after all”, and we’re still bad for pointing it out before they did. I wonder if MSNBC are gonna be censored for spreading fake news, or does censorship only apply to the people who were four years ahead of them?
I suspect fake news now just means announcing the truth before the news networks are ready to announce it. Facts don’t become real until they say so. They create the truth as quickly as they destroy it. But even they’re saying Biden is too senile to lead the country now so that’s true, and if you’re willing to vote for this, rather than take to the streets, honestly, what is wrong with you? I mean where do you draw the line? Would you vote for someone in a coma?
Actually, don’t answer that one. Former Obama aide Ravi Gupta already has. He posted on Twitter:
“Every Democrat I know is texting that this is bad. Just say it publicly and begin the hard work of creating space in the convention for a selection process. I’ll vote for a corpse over Trump, but this is a suicide mission.”
This right here is the real problem. Hardcore Democrat voters are so brainwashed that even if it were announced Biden is dead, but Blinken is going to do a Weekend at Bernie’s so he can stand for president anyway, many would still vote for him. Maybe not enough would vote to get him over the line, but enough of them wouldn’t entertain the idea of voting for a third party and finally breaking the duopoly. The duopoly matters that much to them. Fucking weirdos.
I guess it’s going to be the fault of every left leaning person when the senile man who committed genocide loses to the other worst president ever. Just remember to yell really loudly at everyone who refused to vote for your guy and they’ll definitely want to vote for your guy next time. Democrats know how to win people over, don’t they?
The next televised debate is not for 75 days, but with every passing day Biden is going to face further cognitive decline. By the time the next debate comes along, he probably won’t even remember the last one. Ordinarily, men like Biden are taken into care for their own safety. Someone needs to make Biden step down for everyone‘s safety. Surely, we can all agree on that now? But let’s not pretend the Democrats will offer anyone worth voting for.
I would say the public deserve better than Biden and Trump, or Starmer and Sunak for that matter, but do we really? Or do we actually just end up with the leaders we deserve? Because if we deserved better, we would not vote for any of these guys!
It’s fair to say that if you picked two random people from the street on either side of the pond and asked them to debate politics, they would have offered more coherent visions for the future, and as much as anything else, this is because the vision of the transnational corporate uniparty is dystopia, and possibly apocalypse, but they can’t say that out loud.
It seems that normal people hate that these are the options, but the reality is, these are not the only options. There are other people Americans can vote for, and there are other people the British can vote for. So why don’t we?
The last working-class hero in England.
Kira the cat, ? ? 2010 - 3 August 2018
Jasper the Ruffian cat ? ? ? - 4 November 2021
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