Clio the cat, ? July 1997 - 1 May 2016
on July 19, 2024, 3:48 pm
It's about time judges stood up to those who want to save the world
Jul 19, 2024
A British judge has shown why the UK is considered the leading democracy in the world by Daily Mail readers by issuing the harshest ever prison sentences… to peaceful protesters. The judge said it was necessary to jail Roger Hallam, the founder of Extinction Rebellion, for five years because he had conspired to block a road. That judge is gonna so mad when he hears what the civil rights movement got up to…
The judge jailed Hallam’s accomplices for four years for hanging a banner reading “Just Stop Oil” from a bridge because oil is a protected characteristic, meaning this was a hate crime. Oil billionaires count as people too, ya know.
As a result of the callous protest, a woman in Romford waited an extra two hours, 43 minutes and 17 seconds for her Amazon delivery. You can imagine her pain when she was tracking the delivery on the map and the updates just froze a few miles from her home. Thankfully, she was eventually united with her shoes and said they were really nice, despite her traumatic wait. Her children, who will be living on mountaintops in a few decades and wearing factor 200 sunscreen, agree no one should go through what their mother went through again.
The roadblock cost the public about £1.8 million, which is a figure we just made up, but what’s important is it’s much higher than the £1.4 trillion we’re spending on the climate crisis over the next three decades. Why don’t protesters ever think about what they’re doing to the economy?
In the UK, we have our priorities in order, which is why a paedo was given a suspended 12 months sentence for drugging school kids and doing unspeakable things to them. I’m sure you will agree the judge who issued this sentence definitely does not need to have his hard drive checked.
Thankfully, our judges know how to deal with real criminals and treat anyone who cares about breathable air as basically ISIS. Like all democracies, the UK has outlawed direct action unless it’s in the middle of a boggy field somewhere, miles from public view. Direct action is only allowed when it causes absolutely no inconvenience to anyone.
The judge in the M25 case accused the protesters of “parading their political views” by appointing themselves as “sole arbiters of what should be done about climate change”. The thing they want to do about climate change is prevent it, but obviously, protesters are crossing a line when they parade their political views. This is not what protest is for.
The judge accused the organiser of turning the trial into a “form of direct action” by trying to explain the reason for his actions. The accused were banned from explaining their motivations in case they unduly influenced jurors by helping them understand why their actions were justified.
Jurors should not under any circumstances acquit people on the basis of right and wrong because we wouldn’t have a real justice system if the outcome wasn’t predetermined, would we?
The last working-class hero in England.
Kira the cat, ? ? 2010 - 3 August 2018
Jasper the Ruffian cat ? ? ? - 4 November 2021
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