https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/idf-discovers-hamas-base-hidden-inside
This justifies all of Israel's war crimes
Jul 25, 2024

In a raid on one of the few hospitals in Gaza that Israel has not completely destroyed, the IDF has made the stunning discovery of a Hamas base hidden inside an ultrasound machine.

As a result of this discovery, an IDF soldier did the only thing a normal person would do: he smashed the ultrasound machine to pieces. Obviously, this was the only way for Israel to be safe. You just never know when Hamas is planning to scan a pregnant mother, do you?

The stunning discovery in the ultrasound machine has left the people who scoffed at the idea of a secret Hamas base that teleported into, around, and underneath hospitals, reeling.

The Hamas base was real, after all, and only the very worst monsters would hide their base inside a baby scanner. This proves that every action in Israel’s war on children has been justified and the slaughter must continue. If you oppose shooting up hospitals and smashing ultrasound machines, I can only assume you support terrorism.

The discovery of Hamas HQ has come at the perfect time for Benjamin Netanyahu who needed to announce some progress because he is feeling the pressure. The Israeli prime minister is visiting one of the few countries he will be allowed to enter once the ICC issues an arrest warrant, and he hopes to impress.

The US (who else?) has invited its favourite war criminal to congress, giving him the opportunity to ask for an even bigger welfare cheque. The Americans who can’t get healthcare are thrilled at the prospect of more of their tax dollars going towards the destruction of hospitals.

In one of the most historic moments since Blair went horse riding with Putin, President Biden plans to meet with Netanyahu tomorrow so they can reminisce about their war crimes. Netanyahu will use the opportunity to gauge whether to back Kamala Harris or offer his support to Donald Trump. Let’s be honest, there really isn’t much to choose between them.

Netanyahu was warmly welcomed to Capitol Hill by every member of congress who is funded by AIPAC, which is pretty much all of them. AIPAC has reassured congress that 10% of whatever Israel gets from this trip will be given back to them in backhanders. I’m sure you will agree, these people deserve a pay rise. The Washington public certainly thinks so.

Fans of Netanyahu were so excited by his arrival, they dyed the fountains of Capitol Hill red to honour his achievements and remind him how many gallons of blood he has spilled. Netanyahu was deeply touched by the gesture.

I remember the dark days of politics when even warmongers had to pretend they were acting with a heavy heart. Today, politics is more inclusive because we get to proudly cheer on genocide like it’s a team sport - one in which our team always wins!

Netanyahu touchingly wore a yellow badge during his speech in solidarity with the hostages because he cares so much, he has rejected any deal to free the hostages and killed ten times as many hostages as he has rescued. As you can see, Netanyahu’s logic is flawless and his sincerity is absolute.

The leader who has addressed congress more times than any other felt no need to hide his true intentions. He sensibly demanded war against Iran and insisted the US and Israel must stand together, by which he meant the US must give him lots of money and do all the fighting because he does not want Iran’s missiles coming his way.

Netanyahu’s request for tax dollars got so many rounds of applause, you would think he had cured world hunger, but he did something even better: he created his very own famine! Just remember, one day this will all be over and Netanyahu will get the credit for ending it. He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for this, not an ICC arrest warrant.

“Give me more money and I’ll finish the job!” Netanyahu bellowed and three congressman saw their erectile dysfunction miraculously cured as they envisaged a mushroom cloud over Gaza.

“Hamas burnt babies alive!” Netanyahu roared to rapturous applause, even though everyone in the room knew it wasn’t true. We love Netanyahu so much that we even clap when he lies about babies being killed to justify him killing babies!

“I will finally destroy the ultrasound machines!” Netanyahu boomed, and at this point, members of congress were jumping out of their seats and hugging and kissing each other.

Not everyone in the room was so happy though, and at least one party pooper tried her best to spoil the jubilation. A scowling Rashida Tlaib wore a keffiyeh and clutched a microphone bearing the words “war criminal” and I’m unclear why she was not arrested. Obviously, Rashida is a terrorist because she is Palestinian and she doesn’t want to pay for Palestinians to be bombed. She is so unreasonable and she is not the only one.

In a disgraceful act of anti-Semitism, Jewish senator Bernie Sanders called Netanyahu a “war criminal”. If you criticise the leader of Israel, you must hate all Jews, apart from the hundreds of Jews who were protesting outside who must also hate all Jews. The same goes for the 30 Israelis, including former Mossad directors and IDF chiefs of staff, who wrote to congress, explaining Netanyahu has no mandate in Israel and is facing prosecution for serious crimes.

Everyone who criticises Netanyahu is an anti-Semite, and when the smears don’t work, cops beat the shit out of protesters and we tell you they deserved it! One of the anti-genocide protesters was so jihadist, they burnt an effigy of Netanyahu, but the Israeli prime minister would never stoop to burning effigies. He just burns refugees alive in tents like a civilised human being.

Netanyahu called the protesters “Iran’s useful idiots” and accused them of being “in league with Hamas” as brave cops pepper-sprayed and tear-gassed them for protesting against one of the few people Americans are not allowed to criticise. All I can say is they were lucky Netanyahu left his white phosphorous at home because then they would have been in serious trouble