https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/the-nicest-people-on-social-media
This is a totally normal thing to do
Aug 21, 2024

When news of a father holding his headless child broke, I was extremely upset because how could anyone not be upset by such a devastating scene? A beautiful child had their life stolen in the most horrifying of circumstances and I burst into tears.

I was particularly sad because I thought of the headless Israeli babies we shamelessly made up on October 7th, around the time we made up the mass rape stories. Therefore, I assumed the child was Israeli and was ready to give the story wall-to-wall coverage for however long this war lasts.

You can imagine my confusion when I realised the headless child was Palestinian and we still hadn’t updated our position that headless children warrant ten months of carpet-bombing a country in revenge. Therefore, I did not know how to approach this one.

Thankfully, all the nicest people on Twitter informed me this was a “Pallywood production”, which is the label we give to any video that makes Israel look bad. It makes sense that Palestinians would go to the effort of faking a child’s death because it’s not like at least 17,000 children have been killed in the past ten months and we’re seeing dozens of real videos every day.

Zionists know a fake video when they see one because Mossad are the experts when it comes to faking evidence. They used to fake evidence every time Israel bombed a school or hospital until everyone stopped believing their evidence was real.

Well, all I can say is if you don’t believe Israeli videos are real and you do believe Palestinian videos are real, this is a hate crime. You should be arrested like a YouTuber with opinions we don’t like, for your grotesque double-standard.

Israeli propaganda should be given the same respect as Palestinian truth telling… I mean, not, um, should be given more… bollocks, I’ve no idea what I’m trying to say here. Just accuse Palestinians of lying when they’re mourning the loss of their children, okay? This is what all of the nicest people do. Well, not all of them…

While most of the nicest people are denying the brutal murder of a child, the rest of the nicest people have put us in an awkward position by openly celebrating the child murder on social media. Clearly, they never got the memo that we’re pretending the video was faked. (I’ll let you know if we decide the other 17,000-plus child deaths in Gaza were also faked.)

Even the people who tried to stay on message were unable to stay on message. Sadly, we could not get our stories straight and some were insisting the video was AI-generated, pointing out the bystanders had five fingers on each hand. (I’m unclear how many fingers they think humans should have, unless they’re residents of Springfield or something.)

Some social media users were saying the body was a silicone doll with a level of workmanship even Jim Henson couldn’t rival. One super-nice person didn’t bother pretending the video was fake, instead arguing the father did that to his child, which is a totally normal thing to suggest. He really should have gone with my suggestion the dad used to work at Pixar and knocked the video up on his laptop in his tent. My story was much more believable.

Anyways, what’s important is this is a war between good and evil, and the good side consists of the people who see a child missing a head and accuse the traumatised father of faking a horrific death, just to make the people who’ve killed 17,000-plus other children look bad. Thankfully, our leaders are on the good side in this conflict, and they will have you know that if you support the parents carrying their dead children in their arms, you are one of the bad guys. Isn't this nice to know?