https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/israel-is-escalating-to-de-escalate

Israel is escalating to de-escalate and I'm fucking for virginity
Don't you dare judge us
Sep 22, 2024

Israeli officials have explained their unprecedented act of pager terrorism and bombing of apartment buildings in Lebanon is part of a strategy of “de-escalation through escalation”. The hope is their aggression will make Hezbollah think twice about launching an unprovoked retaliation.

The US says it appreciates the strategy because it’s not dissimilar to the strategy it employed in Afghanistan when it pretended the Taliban did 9/11 and then de-escalated so successfully, it was dragged into a 20-year war, after which the Taliban came straight back into power.

The strategy is also not dissimilar to how I had a secret affair with Boris Johnson and acted so chaste, anyone would think my virginity had grown back, because it was the only way to keep my job at the BBC. Sometimes we have to do unpleasant things to get what we want in life, don’t we?

The de-escalation strategy aims to force Hezbollah into a deal that would allow the real victims of the Gaza genocide - settlers in northern Israel - to return to their homes. If a deal cannot be reached, Israel says it will send over shipments of booby-trapped smart phones, games consoles and baby monitors to teach the Lebanese children a lesson.

So far, the de-escalation strategy has worked so well that Hezbollah is currently bombing Haifa. Netanyahu is terrified this might lead to the regional war he desperately needs to save himself from prison. Netanyahu is such a patriot, he would reluctantly sacrifice the lives of his citizens and the economy of his nation to save his own skin. I can’t imagine why Israelis are taking to the streets to protest against him.

While the US is supportive of Israel’s latest strategy (because AIPAC won’t allow it to be unsupportive), it has expressed concern this is a high-risk approach that could spark regional war.

The Biden administration is fine with the genocide in Gaza because it can make money from arms sales without getting its hands dirty, but if war kicks off with Hezbollah, the Lebanese army will get involved. In such a scenario, Israel would order US troops to fight on its behalf and this could harm Kamala’s election chances.

All this is only happening because Hezbollah reacted badly to Israel constantly bombing Lebanon and committing genocide in Gaza. Hezbollah is making the unreasonable demand that it will stop firing rockets if Israel stops committing genocide. Given that Hezbollah is responsible for under 20% of cross-border fire and Israel is responsible for over 80%, I think we all know Hezbollah is the aggressor here.

Israel has made the sensible ultimatum that Hezbollah must let Israel finish its genocide in Gaza and let Israel send batches of exploding devices into Lebanon. If Hezbollah does not comply with these demands, Israel will launch an all-out invasion to put a stop to Hezbollah’s terrorism. This is only fair.

Only problem with the escalate to de-escalate strategy is that Hezbollah might also choose to escalate to de-escalate and Iran might also choose to escalate to de-escalate and the Houthis might also choose to escalate to de-escalate and Israel might start nuking everyone and hoping for the best.

As you can see, Israel is surrounded by savages who don’t know when to stop. Israel is the innocent victim here, just like I’m a credible journalist who fearlessly holds power to account, and also a virgin